


Coffee Shop Soundtrack

by OfMiceAndSam



Category: All Time Low
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-03-11
Packaged: 2018-01-15 10:09:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 25,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1301089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfMiceAndSam/pseuds/OfMiceAndSam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex Gaskarth doesn't think anything of it when he sees a gorgeous girl at Starbucks, he thinks he's never going to see her again. Little did he know he would have to see her everyday for the next few months. Jessica Ramsay (little sister to the infamous lead singer of Marianas Trench) honestly can't stand Alex or Jack, she prefers to talk to Zack (who she's been friends with forever) and she thinks Rian's pretty cool too. The girl is smart, witty, sarcastic, and beauiful. The worst part is, Alex is in way over his head when he falls for her a little bit more everyday.</p>
<p>*My request to own these boys was denied. So I don't own them or any songs mentioned, I only own Jessica* *Trust me, if I did own them I wouldn't be sitting here writing about them ;)*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This was written a while go so obviously not my best work, but I love it and think it's cute so.... yeah.

Third Person P.O.V. 

Alex didn't think anything of it when he went for coffee. He and the rest of his band were in Canada, starting the Get Your Heart On! Tour with Simple Plan and a few other bands. He had a few hours to kill so her took off to a Starbucks down the street. Alex stopped in his seat. From the corner of his eye, he could see long blonde hair, a skateboard at her feet.

He finally turned to bring her in to full view. She had blue and black feathering through her blonde hair, which was under a gray beanie. Her legs were curled up beneath her as she sat there in her sweatpants, an old flannel shirt unbuttoned over her tank top. She sipped at her drink and read her book, her earphones obvious in her ears. Alex couldn't keep his eyes off her, especially after she looked up and he caught sight of her icy blue eyes, and he swore he saw the flash of a tongue ring when she began mouthing the words to the songs she was listening to. 

She suddenly jumped, her phone ringing out a song. She quickly took her earphone out and answered it. Even from his seat, Alex could hear her end of the conversation.   
"Yes Josh, I'm at Starbucks."   
"Leave me alone, I'm two minutes away and I have my board."   
"All right, I'm coming." and she hung up, throwing her cup in the garbage can and throwing her phone, book, and iPod in her backpack. She grabbed her board and took off down the street, heading in the direction Alex came from.

At that time, he didn't think anything of it. He thought she was just some girl he'd seen at Starbucks. He didn't think he would ever see her again..


	2. Chapter 1: Have You Seen This Girl?

Jessica's P.O.V.

 

I was riding my board back to the parking lot. As much as I love my brother, he can be the world's biggest pain. Like I said though, I do love him. Even if he was only about 2 years older yet we treated each other like twins. I finally reached the busses, my blonde hair still flying behind me. I saw my brother standing there, waiting. 

"'Bout time." he said, smirking.   
"Please, I am perfectly on time. Why am I here? We still have some time." I said, a tad aggrivated he interruputed my Starbucks, though it was uncomfortable with some stalker staring at me.   
"You're here because we're supposed to meet the other bands and I'm bringing you along."   
"Why, so I can embarass you?" I asked, I had a tendency to be like that. I mean, how could I not be a sarcastic sass-master? I am related to Josh. 

My brother shook his head at me   
"All Time Low is just waiting for their singer."   
"Uh huh, and I've met and seen These Kids Wear Crowns and Simple Plan too many times to count." I replied.   
He shrugged, "All right, I'm just gonna go ride my board, let me know when I have to meet these guys." I said and he just nodded at me.

My brother was not a man of words, where as I had my way with words. Honestly, I was a bit excited to meet All Time Low, only because I knew I could see my best friend again. Zack Merrick, where can I begin on the kid? We met when I was down in Baltimore for a skateboarding competiton finals. We ended up tying and over the years we just stayed friends, especially after I moved down to Baltimore. 

So why was in Canada? Josh wanted to bring me with him on tour to see the guys and I was visiting in Vancouver, so I came down with them. After the tour, I'd go back to Baltimore and my modeling job. Zack and I usually met on the weekends to go boarding, or surfing in the summer, and I'd always promised him I'd take him snowboarding in Whistler one day. I had just landed from a perfect kick-flip to hear loud laughter coming from a bus across the parking lot. I stopped, my smile wider than ever. I started wheeling towards to group of 4, stopping on a dime right behind them. 

"ZACHARY MERRICK! IF YOU DON'T TURN AROUND AND GIVE YOUR BEST FRIEND A HUG, I WILL BE FORCED TO CLAIM MYSELF AS RIGHTFUL QUEEN OF THE RAMPS!" I shouted jokingly, we always had a joke about this cause we always tied when we tried to compete. 

The other 3 boys jumped when they heard me, but I could really care less. Zach stopped and turned around at the speed of light, coming towards me and grippping me in a death-hug. I was laughing too much to care as he put me down and we started talking like his band mates weren't right behind him. Soon enough we were on our boards, just fooling around. 

"Awh, Zacky, I feel bad. Bro's before hoes is the golden rule, go spend time with your band," I said, smirking, "Come with me then," he replied and we left our boards. 4  
"And for the record, you're not a hoe, that rule doesn't apply." he said and I started laughing. 

Zack was never a talkative person, but I tended to bring out a more social side in people, but I loved being friends with him. He was a listener, that's why we fit so well. As we finally reached his band, I heard him apologize and all tension dissolved. That was until I looked up to be my nosy, talkative self, and I froze completely. You have got to be kidding me. 

 

Alex's P.O.V.

 

I knew the guys were waiting for me, so I took my time just to piss them off a little bit more. I got there, finally, and I could tell Zack was anxious as we walked out of the bus and towards the other bands. That's when we heard a melodic voice shout and all of us but Zack jumped in surprise. Zack wheeled around and hugged the girl to death, but she was giggling too much to notice. They instantly started talking and Jack and I looked at each other, confused. Zack was talking, to a girl no less? We turned back around to find Rian gone, not caring, and Zack and whoever-she-was on their skateboards. 

I recognized that board, just like I saw flashes of black and blonde hair. I finally got a good look at his girl as she said something to make Zack laugh, and I nearly started choking. This could not be happening. Zack grabbed her and pulled her over towards us, Rian deciding to join us once again. We caught the end of Zack's sentence "... That rule doesn't apply." before he stopped, the girl tucked in beside him. 

"Sorry guys, I got carried away. I haven't seen her in a few weeks." he was apologizing? Dude, you don't just apologize, it's okay if it's for a girl like that. We started talking, but we were all wondering the same thing: who the hell was this girl? She looked up, smirking a bit, until she froze. Dammit.

She groaned and Zack looked at her, worried. She smiled and straightened herself before smirking again. 

"The name is Jessica, boys. Jessica Rae Ramsay." Ramsay? Where have I heard that name before? I was snapped out of thought by her voice again.   
"I'm not in a band, my brother is the lanky douche that leads the crack in the ocean." she said, laughing. That's it, she was related to Josh, makes sense now.   
"So, I know Zack over here, who are you guys?" she asked.

She looked at each of us expectantly, starting with Rian. 

"I'm Rian." he replied and she turned to Jack, blinking where as he just smirked, ''Jack." he said and she rolled her eyes.  
"Uh huh." and she turned to me, her blue eyes boring in to me.   
"Alex." I finally managed to sputter out.  
"Nice to get a name out of the stalker." I heard her mutter and I froze, how the fuck did she see me? 

I looked at her, and she rolled her eyes, before turning and talking to Rian. This must have been the first time some one skipped over Jack and I. We looked at each other, clearly she didn't like us.

"Well no shit." she said and we looked back to her, shit we said that out loud.  
"Yes, yes you did." and she walked off to get her board. We all looked at Zack.  
"You guys remember that girl from the skate finals I went to? Yeah, that's her. Sorry, she's usually pretty good with people." he apologized, even though there was no need.   
"So why haven't you seen her in few weeks?" Rian asked.  
"She's been in Vancouver, visiting Josh and her family. She lives in Baltimore, guys. Where do you think I go every weekend? We go boarding." and he shrugged and I felt something snap, a twinge of jealousy. It was a familiar feeling. 

"So why is she in Baltimore?" Jack asked him   
"She works there, ask her yourself. JESSIE! COME ON, PLAY NICE!" he yelled, bringing her back over.   
"I don't wanna." she said before sticking her tongue out and the three of us froze and stared at the silver ball in the middle of her tongue. 

She noticed and rolled her eyes again.

"What, never seen a tongue ring before?" she asked sarcastically.   
"Now, what is it?" she asked   
"Zack said you live in Baltimore, why?" Rian asked.   
"First of all," she smacked Zack on the head, "don't tell them where I live. Second, since you ask Rian, I'm a model. I get a majority of my work in Baltimore, so I moved down there." 

Everyone just went on talking from there. Just great, my luck would have it too. I see a beautiful girl at Starbucks, and I completely stare at her, now I figure out I have to see her for a few months and she kind of hates me. Problem is, I got that feeling of jealousy. Of all the girls, why her?


	3. Chapter 2: Sex in Stereo; Don't Turn The Radio Down

Jessica's P.O.V.

 

I'm not going to lie, I really didn't like Alex or Jack. Don't yell at me yet fangirls, I have good reasons. Literally every day went like this: I get up, go see Zack, talk to Rian (who's actually really chill), hang out with Zack, have Jack hit on me literally at least 10 times and all Alex does is stare at me, watch the shows, and then I go to sleep. I'll give them one thing though, I actually was a fan of their music. They reminded me of my brother, they found their element on stage, and that was something special. Actually, I think I just enjoyed any time they weren't annoying me. If this was only the first week, the rest of the tour was going to be harder than expected. 

Speaking of the two idiots, they had managed the sit themselves on either side of me as I sat working on their bus. 

"Whatcha doin?" and I rolled my eyes.   
"If you guys have to know, I'm working with some prints and I needed Zack's help."   
"Wait, I thought you were just a model?" Rian asked me as he walked in.   
"Naw. I have degrees in Graphic Design and Media Art Layout. It would be stupid if I didn't use that." and I saw jaws drop.   
"What? I can be pretty but I can't be smart?" I asked. Do you now see why I hated staying on that bus for too long? 

Whatever, I looked over and started on my work again, my eyes scanning over the pictures they gave me. 

"Zack, why doesn't your girlfriend like us?"   
"I'm not his girlfriend." I snapped, my hand reaching for the dog tags tucked neatly under my shirt. 

That was it, I've had enough. I went on ignoring them and eventually Jack left me alone. That didn't mean I wasn't less annoyed. I could feel Alex staring holes in to me.

"You know, you could try this thing called talking to me." I said.

I wasn't going to lie to myself, I thought Alex was incredibly cute and I know Zack worries about him sometimes. I just couldn't bring myself to like him though because I hated it when people stared at me. I'm used to having eyes on me all the time, but this was different. His stare made me uncomfortable, but not in a bad way. I guess it just freaked me out a little that only one other person has been able to make me feel like that, and I don't talk about him. 

Seeing as I wasn't getting answers out of anyone, I finally finished my layout. 

"Hey Zack, what time does set up start?" I asked   
"About 4, why?" I looked at the clock, it was only about 12:30.   
"Nothing, I just need the main stage, which is already set up. Bye." and I waved as I walked out the door, making my way to the outdoor stage they were playing it. It was unusually warm for January in Canada, but who said I was complaining? 

 

Alex's P.O.V.

 

All 4 of us watched Jessica walk off the bus. That was the minute Jack started whining. 

"Why does she only like Zack and Rian?"   
"Maybe because we don't hit on her every 5 minutes." Rian snorted.  
"Whatever. Zaaack, why doesn't your girlfriend like us?" "  
She's not my girlfriend!" was his only reply.   
"Why not?" I spoke up, finding my voice again. Zack looked at me confused.   
"Why is she not your girlfriend?" I asked and he shrugged.   
"We always fit better as friends, I don't look at her like that. And, she doesn't really date anymore." he mumbled the last part.

That's when our heads snapped to attention. We didn't even have to say anything, he knew we wanted and explanation. 7

"It's not my story to tell, it's Jessie's." and I guess we were supposed to leave it at that. 

By that time, Jack went back to whining.

"Maybe if you calm down a little bit, she'll come around." was the only answer we got. I pretty much spent the time quiet, which was unusual. I was unusually quiet these days. I was snapped out of it when we had to go for soundcheck.   
"Coming" I mumbled and I walked out the bus door with the others. 

We played an amazing show, like we always did. The entire time we were playing, my eyes were on Jessica. She was front row and center for every show and she stayed there for all the bands. Through every set, I saw something in her you don't see in most people at concerts. She closes her eyes the minute the song starts, letting the music just sink in instead of jumping around screaming. There was something about her that I couldn't escape. Hell, the girl was even in my dreams. She's smart, sarcastic, and doesn't take shit from anyone. Yet at the same time, she's sweet and she cares for everyone. I knew that's why I found her that much more attractive, she was beautiful inside and out.


	4. Chapter 3: I'm Still Waiting

Alex's P.O.V.

 

I was outside watching the guys and Jessica run around the lot, playing football. My eyes trailed on her as she ran around, this girl clearly liked to roll with the boys and she could take the hits too. I watched her jump around as she made a touchdown on the grass, her black hat nearly falling off her head. I swear either I was going to make myself crazy or she was going to end up driving me insane, in more ways than one. 

A scream snapped me back to reality as I saw Jess lifted up and over some one's shoulder.

"MATT! PUT ME DOWN! MAAAATTT! No, don't help him. GUYS! COME ON!" and soon enough she was being carried around by the entire group.   
"Josh?" she asked hopefully, eyeing her brother. He smirked and shook his head. I was watching the entire scene play out, and I was laughing the entire time.   
"SHUT IT GASKARTH!" she yelled at me across the parking lot. I shook my head and kept on laughing.

Suddenly, I saw her eyes light up and a devilish smirk cross her face. In a flash she back flipped off of the group holding her up and she took off running. Damn, the girl was flexible, and that is a talent she could use. I really needed to stop thinking like that. 

I watched Jessica's eyes widen as she looked over across the street, and my gaze followed hers only to land on an arena. I turned back to Jessica, her face lit up like a Christmas tree and she was hopping back and forth on the balls of her feet. Then once again she took off, bolting across the street. Everyone else groaned, clearly giving up on chasing her. Me being me though, I followed her. Some one had to keep an eye on her.

I walked in to find a single arena, boards and scratched plexi-glass surrounding the ice. Through the door and there stood Jessica, the lighting creating a halo around her blonde hair. She was banging on the glass, yelling something to those on the ice. Something was wrong though, the look on her face was not just a spur of annoyance at what was going on, no. I knew that look; I saw it every time Jack tried to hit on her. That's when I saw the guy beside her, talking to her. I was close enough that I could hear her say multiple times to leave her alone. Fuck it, I have to do something. 

I walked over and slipped my arm around Jessica's waist.

"You okay babe?" and her head whipped around, she looked about ready to slap me. The look on her face changed when she realized what I was doing, and decided to play along. "Yeah, I'm fine. The refs aren't going to be though, after these shitty calls." I smirked at her.   
"Come on, maybe you can actually teach me something while we're here." and I tugged her waist and we walked off, up in to the stands. 

The minute we were out of sight and sitting down, her hand slapped mine off and she jerked away from me. She looked up at me, looking greatful. "Thank you." she said and I just shrugged.

"There it goes again. Why won't you talk to me?" she asked, sounding aggrivated.

Truth was, I couldn't form a sentence around her. This girl had the power to make me speechless, try hard as I might to deny it, she had me in the palm of her hand. I shrugged again.

"What's the point when you don't like me anyway." I mumbled.   
"It's not like I hate you though, I just don't like people constantly staring holes in to me. Maybe if you'd talk a bit more and you know, actually had a conversation with me. That might change." with every word she was leaning closer, until she stopped right in front of my face. 

She smirked at me, biting her lip and looking incredibly sexy. Then she turned around to watch the game that was happening, acting like that hadn't just happened. 

This girl... This girl was going to be the death of me.


	5. Chapter 4: You Can Keep All Your Misery

Alex's P.O.V.

 

Something was keeping me awake that night. Whether it was fate or destiny or some shit like that, I just couldn't fall asleep. Eventually I gave up on trying and slipped a hoodie over my head before walking off the bus and outside. The night was clear, stars in the sky, and it wasn't that cold out. That's when I noticed to bonfire the boys had put together earlier still burning, a shadow casting beside it. I was about to say something, when I caught sight of black, blue, and blonde hair. Why was it always her?

Slowly, I walked over and sat beside Jessica and she turned to look at me. I almost gasped when I saw her beautiful blue eyes rimmed with red and the remains of tears on her cheeks. 

"Not a pretty sight is it?" she asked and I just shook my head.  
"Yeah well, no one was supposed to be out here." she sighed and I honestly thought she was going to freak out and just glare at me, but she didn't. 

Instead I looked to see a photo in her hands. It was a picture of a couple. The girl was clearly Jessica, she looked exactly the same as she did now. The guy I didn't recognize, but I assumed it was her boyfriend, or at least an ex or something. 

"His name was Tristan." she said, catching me off guard.   
"Was?" I asked only for her to shake her head. 

It was then I noticed the 2 silver dog tags hanging around her neck on a chain. 

"Yes. Was." and she took her dog tags off, shoving them in to my hands. It took me a second but I could finally read them clearly 'SGNT. Tristan Tylers, 7098-3456-1990, Canadian Forces: Special Tactics'. With that imprint it sunk in, these were army dog tags, but she had them. That could only mean- 

"What you're probably thinking right now is true." she said.   
"What is it I'm thinking?" she smirked a bit, looks like I was getting somewhere. 

"You want the story? Fine. We met in freshman year, I thought he was an annoying little fuck. He just stared at me all the time, never spoke more than two words to me. Then he finally let loose a little as we got older and we became friends, turns out he was a pretty amazing guy. My family loved him, hell even the band loved him. Tristan was something special, and when he asked me to go out with him it almost felt surreal. We graduated, I went off the school and he went in to basic training, but I was still just as head over heels in love with him. Then came that day. I was at home in Baltimore, and Tristan was supposed to be there in a week. I heard a knock at the door, and I almost fainted when I opened it. There's only one reason a sargent comes to your home, and I knew what it was. He handed me Tristan's tags and took off with apologies and condolences. He's gone. So yeah, his name WAS Tristan." 

She finished and a new set of tears were rolling down her face. I wrapped my arm around her and hugged her in to my chest. She took the dog tags back from me and started playing with them. That's when I noticed something on the chain, something that wasn't suposed to be there: a diamond ring. She smirked again, letting her fingers toy with the ring. 

"Jessica Rae Tylers. Mrs. Tylers. Mr. and Mrs. Tristan Tylers. Jessie Tylers. Jessica Tylers." she stopped and just held the ring in the palm of her hand "My name was going to be Jessica Tylers." her voice was airy, as if it was a realization. 

That's when it finally clicked in for me, they were going to get married. Her fiancee died in the war. This was why she hated it so much when Jack hit on her, or when we made jokes about her and Zack. This is why she hated me always staring at her, never talking to her. 

"I'm really sorry that I'm a bitch to you." she said sitting up and facing me. 

With one quick motion her hands were on my face, holding me in place to look at her. 

"You remind me so much of him. I didn't think it was possible." and she let go, laughing a bit.   
"God they were right. They were so right." and she shook her head.   
"Who was right?"   
"All the doctors, the therapists they hired. They told me he'd want me to be happy, and that I could move on and still remember him. Yet no one gets it, certainly not any of the guys I've tried to date. They don't get it and no one does. I wand to move on, I'm sick of being sad all the time, but no one understands that I can't just forget him. I don't know how to explain it, but I just-" and she stopped, at a loss for words. "  
I understand." I told her, and in reality I did. She was over him and she wanted to be happy, but at the same time she didn't want to forget some of her greatest memories.   
"How?" she asked, her tone wasn't bitchy or angry, it was simply curious.   
"I just do. You're not the only one around her messed up enough to be sent to therapy." and I shrugged.

What happened next surprised me, Jess leaned over and hugged me. It took a second but I hugged her back. She pulled away from me. 

"It's no wonder Zack worries about you sometimes." I looked at her curiously.  
"You don't think he talks about you guys? Please. Never anything bad, he just talks about you. You though, Alex, he tells me about how he worries about you. He knows you're okay, but he never really knows." she sighed and I took a minute to process what she just told me. 

She hugged me again and this time it took no hesitation for me to hug her back. She pulled back and stood up. 

"I really am sorry that I act like a bitch, I guess I'm just blunt." she shrugged   
"You're not a bitch, don't apologize." she smirked   
"There it is. Some one learned to talk to me. I told you Gaskarth, hold an actual conversation with me and maaaybe I'll come around. You just have to wait and find out." she had been leaning closer with every word, until she ended and pulled back an she walked back to her brother's bus.

As she disappeared the fire began to burn out, but I noticed something turning to ashes. It was the photo, the one of Jessica and Tristan. That was when I knew that she was telling the truth. She was ready to let go. That was when I knew that maybe I had a chance with her after all.


	6. Chapter 5: Break Down These Walls

Jessica's P.O.V.

 

I couldn't say I wasn't enjoying this, because I was. I felt free for once. Hell some days I woke up and I didn't even bother putting my tags on, they stayed hidden away under my pillow. Today was one of those days. I was wearing black skinnies and a purple hoodie open over my black Ravens tank top, a purple snapback over my hair. Josh's eyes grew wide when he looked at me. 

"Where the fuck are you dog tags Jessie?" he asked, being careful in case I had just forgotten them.   
"They're under my pillow, Joshie." I replied, smiling. I swear I sent him in to a state of shock.It was quite funny, but after a while I had to pinch him back to reality. 

Later in the day I was outside running around. I've always loved running -and anything that involved running, or skating. So I pretty much loved every sport that's ever existed. The answer to your question is hell yes, I'm extremely athletic. 

Not that anyone cared, but I was that girl. That one girl who seemed like she could do it all. I was top of all my classes and I was on every sports team you could find. Along with being in an array of different clubs. I was popular, even though I was one of the many rebellious kids in our town. Instead of being bullied for dying my hair, piercing my tongue, and all eyeliner, I was instead liked for being funny and nice and I didn't hate anyone who didn't give me a reason to. That being said, I got just as much hate because let's face it, I'm a blunt person. I speak my mind, but like I cared. 

My parents had been right. I was a girl who hated the mere thought of high school, but it turned out to be the best years I'd ever had. Then I got my technology degrees and I was the happiest girl on the planet with a ring on my finger. 

I had my whole future planned out. 

On top of being a graphic designer, I was asked to model on my board one day and then I was taking two jobs on. It crashed and burned the day I found Sargent Miller standing on my doorstep. I suddenly stopped on a dime, halfway around the parking lot track I had formed. I shok my head, blurring the memory in my mind. 

So what did my mind decide to flip to? Alex. Of course. It was weird though. Even with the months of being home in Vancouver and the multiple sessions my family pushed me in to. I had never been ready to let go. I kept the picture and wore the necklace religiously. 

Then I met Alex, and it was like a reset button on everything. Memories began fading and as much I remembered that I loved Tristan, he wasn't here. I loved him, but I wasn't in love with him or his memory any more. I guess that's why I'm bitchy with Alex, because he made me want to move on and I just tore apart. He was the reason I wanted to let go now, because I looked at him and I saw something I'd only seen with Tristan. 

I didn't know what it was, I guess you could call it their aura or some shit like it. It was like they radiated the same energy.

Then it made it worse for me, all the staring. It was like freshman year all over again. Thats when it started tearing me apart, because I didn't know what to think or do. So instead my bitch level shot up and I let my mouth run. 

Then we were at the rink and that guy just could not take a hint. I didn't even realized Alex had followed me until he showed up behind me. That was when I decided I should give the kid a chance, on the condition he's start to actually talk around me. 

Then last night, I had lost track of time sitting outside, but I needed to sit and think. I was contemplating either ripping the picture to shreds or tucking it back in to the box I kept it in. When I threw that picture in the fire, I was not only trying to tell Alex something, I was doing something that was long over-due. Cutting my ties. 

While I'd been running, I wasn't keeping track of time. So I stopped and grabbed my board, hoping to just relax a little bit more. To help I put my ear phones in and drowned out the rest of the world and replaced it with Matchbox Twenty. 

 

Alex's P.O.V.

 

We (meaning the band) were watching Jessica run lap after lap around the parking lot. 

"How the fuck does she do it?" Rian asked   
"She's a runner. Plus she plays about every sport known to mankind." at this point she was on her skateboard, ear phones in and not giving a fuck. I caught sight of the tank top under her hoodie.   
"Looks like there's hope for the world after all. The girl's a Ravens fan." I said, laughing a bit.   
"Just don't talk to her about hockey. Jess may live in Baltimore, but she's a Canadian girl at heart." Zack said, and his face changed as if he realized something.  
"I HEARD THE WORD HOCKEY." a voice rang out through the lot.  
"Shit, she shouldn't have been able to hear me." he mumbled, not realizing the blonde right behind him.  
"You should know Zack, that me of all people have their ears tuned for specific words. Words like hockey." Jessica smirked, taking a seat beside me. 

Jess kept her eyes on the field in front of us. Yet some how she saw Jack's mouth open, probably to once again use a line on her.

"Any word comes out of your mouth, Barakat, and I will choke you." she snapped and I laughed as he shut his mouth snap tight.  
"Come on, don't be so harsh. We kinda need our guitarist." I told her and this time she laughed.  
"It gets repetitive. By the end of the 11th grade I'd heard every line in the book." 

It wasn't a question why. If she was half as beautiful as she was now, she must have been stunning. 

"Now about that hockey conversation." she trailed off and laughed at the look on our faces.  
"Relax, I'm only bad when a game is actually happening." she shook her head   
"Besides, season's over. Kings won." and her shoulder slumped down a bit,   
"Awh. Some one a Canucks fan?" I teased and she shot me a glare which quickly turned in to a smirk.   
"Actually, it's Bruins all the way." she said, and she burst out laughing, "Oh god, I can't even keep my own joke. Naw, it IS Canucks fo sho." 

We all spent the day talking until we had to go for soundcheck. It was nice, we were all getting alone. Even Jessica and Jack were kind of ok, seeing as he stopped with all the shitty lines. 

"Jessica, really? You stole my band?" we all heard that voice and froze a bit, where as Jess burst out laughing.   
"Awh come on Matty. Even you love me. You must admit I am quite the catch." she flipped her hair over her shoulder and to my surprise, Flyzik was laughing   
"That you are Jessie, that you are." and he took off.   
"Did Flyzik not just yell at us?" Jack asked in awe.   
"There are advantages to being me." Jessica smirked a bit.   
"Like what? Being so incredibly amazing that no one can hate you?" I asked. I think was the first time I've ever seen her blush. Point for Gaskarth.

"Oh you wouldn't believe how many people hate me." and I was shocked. 

I thought she was pretty fucking awesome. I was going to speak when the call for soundcheck stopped me. 

"Come on. Let's get you over there before Matt kills you. Granted, I'd probably stand there laughing, but-" and she shrugged, giggling as she held her hand out for me.

I took her hand a froze as I stood up. I could've sworn a shock of electricity ran through my arm. Looks like Jess felt it too because she was glued to her spot. She quickly dropped my hand and hopped on her board, skating all the was to the arena before walking inside. I shook my head and shoved my hands in my pockets, following her as the rest of the guys were behind us, and I could feel them staring.


	7. Chapter 6: I'll Misbehave If It Turns You On

Jessica's P.O.V.

 

I stood there front and center, watching the entire show from opening to closing notes. It was a calming thing for me, music. Music was all I had. I had family and friends that loved me, but music was all I had to actually make me feel okay.

After the show, we spent the time to clean up and lock everything up. I took off the change before the bonfire. We always had parties, like almost every night. I kept my skinnies on, but I pulled an Aspire and Create tank top over my head. Throwing my leather jacket over top and throwing my hair in a ponytail (leaving my bangs out of course), I was out the door and in the parking lot with the guys. 

"And beauty decides to show up." Alex teased as I walked up the group.   
"Does that make you the beast?" I shot back.   
"Wouldn't you like to know?" and we started laughing. We stopped and I saw Zack's eyes widen. 

I guess he didn't notice earlier that I still wasn't wearing my tags. 

"Jess, did you forget something?"   
"No. I didn't." Everyone except Alex gave us a weird look.

I shrugged, I didn't wanna talk about it. I walked off and started playing with the setero. I eventually managed to re-wire it and plug it in to my iPod. I smirked, I always got my way. I smiled as I twirled around. 

All of a sudden, I heard some one (it sounded like Jack) say, "Austin would be happy she's wearing that." and I stopped dead. I whirled around nearly sprinting back to the group. I saw that Zack had his hand pressed over Jack's mouth and he was groaning.   
"Hold. The. Fuck. Up." I was serious now. They all looked scared for a minute.   
"You fucking know Austin fucking Carlile and YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?!" I smacked Zack upside the head. "Meanie. You know I love Of Mice & Men." I pouted my lip out before I burst out laughing. 

Everyone looked relieved that I was joking. 

"But seriously, fuck you. You never told me. I'm mad at you now." I crossed my arms over my chest and turned my back to him.   
"Awh come on Jessie." he started whining.   
"No. Alex is my new best friend." Alex was about to hug me when he was pulled back by Jack.   
"No. Mine." I smirked and took a picture, instantly uploading it to twitter.   
"Annnnnd that'll make it's way to tumblr." At the mention of that all heads shot up.   
"Look at that, your fans love me. Well, clearly not at much as they love Jalex apparently." I said giggling.   
"You're evil girly." Rian said and I just smirked.   
"If I wasn't I wouldn't be any fun." and I walked off towards These Kids Wear Crowns, She's So Mean by Matchbox Twenty playing the background. 

 

Alex's P.O.V.

 

We all stared at Jessica as she walked away. 

"Sassy." Rian commented   
"She has her moments." and we jumped at a voice from behind us. 

We turned around to see Josh. 

"Scratch that, the girl's been a sarcastic sass-master from the minute she could talk properly." and we all laughed a bit. 

Suddenly his face went serious and Josh faced Zack. 

"Do you have any idea what's going on? I woke up and she wasn't wearing them." 

Jack and Rian looked confused, where as I knew exactly what was going on. Now that I thought about it, all day her neck had been missing the familiar glint of the chain. 

"I have no idea man. Seems like she purposely didn't put them on." 

The two went on talking about what could have happened, when I decided to step in, 

"Isn't it a good thing?" and I was literally attacked with stares.   
"How do you know?" Josh and Zack snapped at me.   
"Know that it's a good thing? Or know what you're talking about?" they rolled their eyes at me. 

That when realization hit Zack's face, 

"No way. The only way you would know... She told you?" and I just nodded. 

For that I was grabbed by the shoulders, the familiar blue eyes of a family trait looking at me.   
"If you're messing with us right now I will fucking kill you."   
"I'm not messing around."  
"So why the fuck would she tell you?" I shrugged at this point. I honestly did know the answer, but like I was going to tell anyone.   
"Alex,I'm going to say this as nicely as I can. Jessica is my forever going to be my little sister. So, you hurt her and I break you. Clear?" and I nodded.   
"Good." and Josh walked away, back over to his band. 

Only right now did I start paying attention to the song playing. The words made me snap my attention to Jessica, it only reminded me of her. She came twirling back over to us, looking like she was on a high of cloud nine. 

"Some one dance with me. No one else will." she pouted a bit, whining. 

It was now or never I guess. 

I grabbed her hand she smiled at me, twirling around again. The song changed and this one was slower, but I saw Jessica's face light up in recognition. She smirked though when she saw my confusion. 

"I take it you're not a huge Matchbox Twenty fan?" I shook my head. Jess grabbed my hand so she was now holding both and she swayed and twirled, bringing me along with her.

I saw her mouth moving and finally I caught her voice. She was singing.

"Then maybe, maybe if you hold me baby. Let me come over I will tell you secrets nobody knows. I cannot over state it, I will be overjoyed" her voice was angelic, but as quickly as it began it was over. 

The song changed again, and Jessica shrugged. However I recognized the opening notes. I raised an eyebrow and she looked at me with an innocent expression. 

"Really Ramsay?"   
"You questioning my amazing music taste Gaskarth?" she asked giggling.  
"So tell me, exactly how evil are you?" and she smirked at me. 

Shit. 

That fucking smirk. That fucking perfect smirk on her perfect face and it made her so fucking sexy. 

"Wouldn't you like to know?" and just as fast as she was close, she was walking away. Her hips swaying along to every beat and I sang along to the words of my own song, "I just wanna be bad enough, for you."

The blue-eyed blonde girl had finally managed to steal my heart because I swear that was the moment I completely fell in love with Jessica Rae Ramsay.


	8. Chapter 7: A Time Bomb Set In To Motion

Third Person P.O.V.

 

For once it was quiet on the All Time Low bus. Strangely quiet. Which could only mean one thing. Everyone was asleep. Well, not everyone.

It was early in the morning and there sat Alex, just curled up in the front lounge.

"What the actual fuck?" he said to himself over and over again. 

This was not good at all, at least that was his opinion. He didn't want to believe it, but he had to. He finally had to admit that he was in love with her, but he just really didn't want to. There was no way anything could have happened this fast. 

This wasn't how it usually went. He didn't hate the idea though. Alex had always believed that anyone can find love anywhere and everywhere. Love just isn't supposed to happen within a matter of a month.

However there was no denying it. Everything made sense. Those little twinges of jealousy, or the way he was happiest when he saw her. Her beautiful smile that only compared to her sexy smirk. So what was he supposed to do now. 

"You are an idiot Alex." he mumbled to himself.   
"Just had to fall in love with her." it's not like anything was ever going to happen though.

In his mind, Alex believed that even if she was ready, it was still going to be difficult for anything to happen. 

"Why would she love me anyway?" Alex was only trying to push it down, to find an excuse, but they were all just stupid. He gave up eventually, just letting facts sink in. Unaware to the fact that the sun was rising.

*LATER*

"IS JESSICA AROUND? I HEAR HER COMIN' DOWN. WE CAN BE BEST FRIENDS., BUT I WANT YOUR BEST FRIEND. IS JESSICA AROUND!" The blonde haired girl was jumping around singing. Old as she was, she acted like a 4 year old. 

"Jess SHUT THE FUCK UP."   
"NO"   
"GO BUG SOME ONE ELSE."   
"FINE."

Jessica jumped off he bus giggling. It was fun to annoy Josh and the boys, it always had been. Now she just had to find some one to annoy. Damn that was gonna be hard, but she knew just who needed an early morning wake up call.

Slowly, Jess made her way on to All Time Low's unlocked bus. She rolled her eyes, they were going to get killed one day. She was still humming the tune to Jessica by Down With Webster as she skipped up the stairs. It was her favourite song after all. 

"What song are you singing now?" Jessica jumped, unaware that Alex was already up.   
"Jessica." was the blunt reply.   
"I asked about the song not your name."   
"Jessica is the name of the song."   
"Oh." 

Jess turned around giggling. Suddenly a dangerous smirk crossed her face "So, I was thinking wake up call."

The two smirked at each other, but they didn't move. Jess giggled, the giggle that Alex found so adorable. She tapped his nose before skipping off to the back of the bus, yelling and singing and being loud. Alex laughed watching her trying to get them up. 

That was it, that was the moment. Neither of them knew it, but that was the minute everything set in to motion. They were the time bomb. The question was, were they going to explode?


	9. Chapter 8: Lose Myself In A Chemical Moment

Jessica's P.O.V.

 

"NO! NO! SMOTHER IT! GODDAMIT LUONGO!" 

I was yelling at my iPhone, watching re-runs of old Canucks games. Why? Well I mean, I miss hockey, it's no fun without games to watch. 

"Oh God. She found the NHL network app." 

I didn't even have to turn around to know it was my brother. 

"Shut it Josh. I'm trying to watch the game."   
"The game you already know the outcome to." I rolled my eyes.   
"Doesn't matter." he shrugged, ignoring me and walking away. 

I was curled up in black skinnies and a Canucks jersey. I got up, throwing on my nearly-destoryed blue converse and plugging in my headphones to continue listening before I walked out the door.

My headphones were ripped from my ears and I looked up scowling. However my face softened when my blue eyes met honey ones. I wasn't going to yell, not at Alex. He didn't know or understand my hockey obsession. I saw the rest of the band behind him. 

"Whatcha doin?"   
"Watchin' old Canucks games. Care to join?" I asked like an innocent 5 year old.

I saw Zack's eyes widen. I smirked a bit at that. He's had to sit through many hockey games with me. 

"Did you just not yell about hockey being interrupted?"   
"Zack, I'm not going to yell at people who don't know or understand. Remember how I didn't yell at you the first few games? Yeah, it's 'cause you guys clearly aren't canadians." I laughed out the last part. 

I stood up. 

"Forget it, I know what happens anyway. Canucks take it 4-3 despite Luongo clearly being off his game." 

I stood up, brushing off and smoothing out my #27 Malhotra jersey. After all the thing was like my baby. It was my pride and joy. I loved wearing it. 

"Your attatchment to that jersey is unhealthy." Zack muttered.   
"In case you haven't heard Zacky, jerseys are sexy."   
"Yeah but you're obsessed."  
"You know what? attachment and obsession at least give me something. For me it is healthy because at least I'm attached to something that's actually here." I snapped.

My mood changed in the blink of an eye, spiraling south. He opened his mouth, about to give me some bullshit apology that usually ended with how I was emotionally unstable. 

"Just don't." 

I walked away, I was not in the mood for any of this shit today. Or any day for that matter. 

 

Alex's P.O.V.

 

My first thought was to go after her. I was physically aching that I wasn't running after Jessica. I was also aching because I really wanted to hit Zack. Like, I wanted to break his face. I decided not to for two reasons. 

1\. Zack was bigger and stronger than I was.   
2\. Jessica would hate me if I hurt her best friend. 

So instead I stood there unusually quiet. 

I was glaring at Zack though. He just had to push her buttons. I was just as confused though, I mean why would she just snap like that? Especially at Zack. I knew what it was like though, having those unstable feelings. Your mood will swing in so many directions and fast too. I was going to say something when some one else beat me to it. 

"YOU'RE DEAD MERRICK!" and we turned to see Josh. 

He was angry, like really angry. 

Zack looked scared. Hell has no fury like that of an older brother. Especially when you've hurt his little sister. 

By now Josh was standing infront of Zack, looking murderous.

"You had to say she's attached to it. Of course she's attached to it you moron, do you even fucking remember who gave it to her?!" I could feel my expression fall along with Zack's. "Thought so." and before he could do anything Josh walked off. Probably trying not to do something he'd regret. 

All the while Jack and Rian stood there completely and utterly confused.

I looked over and saw a flash of blue with blonde hair under a tree. I ran for it, making my way to Jessica. I sat down in front of her, causing her attention to snap to me. 

"Stupid question: are you okay?" she laughed a bit   
"Better now I guess. Sorry for snapping."   
"You have no reason to apologize, you know." that gave me all of her attention.   
"I get it, it's special to you." her eyes widened for a second before narrowing a bit   
"Josh..." she muttered and I laughed.   
"It's like all I have left. I can't even stand to look at those tags anymore." that's what caught me. 

I nodded, letting her go on. 

"I just, I feel guilty. But I can't just sit there and wait anymore. I have to get back up." 

I knew what she was going through. 

"So the jersey...?" I asked and she laughed a bit.  
"The jersey makes me feel better because it's a piece of home. It's a Vancouver jersey, it brings me back home. It means more than just who gave it to me." 

I was a bit shocked at that. So the attachment was to Vancouver. I've had my fair share of obsessions though. My latest one being the blonde beauty sitting in front of me. 

"So Gaskarth, I heard you've got a thing for blondes."

My head jerked towards her. She laughed at the expression on my face.

"Relax, I'm kidding. Although all your girlfriends have had blonde hair -thank you tumblr." she said smirking, "And let's forget that Jack has blonde in his hair too." 

I finally cracked and started laughing. 

"Sorry. I can't stand the pity-and-sadness party anymore." I smiled at her, I didn't pity her at all actually. I envied her. She was stronger than she gave herself credit for. 

"So then what do you have a thing for?" I asked and she smirked at me   
"Me? Nothing. Just, you know, boys in bands."   
"Josh should be worried."   
"Naw. I'm a big girl." Jess stuck her tongue out at me revealing the bright silver barbel in the middle of it.   
"You coming to the party tonight?" I asked and her face lit up a bit.   
"Yeah. And I guess I'll see you there." she smirked that perfect fucking smirk of her's before getting up and walking off. Her hips perfectly in tune to the beat of her footsteps.

This was so much more than attraction or lust or any of that shit. This felt chemical because that girl made my blood go hot and my mind go numb. I was dizzy around her. That's what you get I guess when you fall for a girl like Jessica though, you get a chemical mess.


	10. Chapter 9: The City Comes Alive When We're Together

Third Person P.O.V.

 

She was dressed in navy and black, causing the blue and black in her hair to light up. Her blue skinny jeans were ones she'd splattered with bleach herself, causing white splashes across her legs and her navy vans were perfectly intact (in contradiction to every other pair of shoes she owned). 

The sleeves of her navy blazer were rolled up to elbows as it perfectly hugged her body over a black tank top. Her blonde hair pleated down her back in a messy braid and her eyes were shadowed in blue, making her ice blue eyes brighten at being surrounded by dark smoke. Anchor earrings sat perfectly in their place and she smiled at her reflection. For once Jessica smiled at the face looking back at her in the mirror.

Jessica may be blonde, but the girl wasn't dumb. She felt like she was though. She felt like an innocent teenager with nothing but a clear conscience... and it was beginning to bother her a bit. She finally let go but guilt still knawed at her head.

Piece by piece, bit by bit, and shred by shred her stitches were coming undone. She hated the feeling, that feeling of weakness where she doesn't know what to do. It haunted her that she felt this helpless. Could she really fall in love again? Jess shook her head, letting herself look down. The answe to that was apparently yes because here she was, in love for the first time in about 4 years. 

"Doesn't some one look all grown up."   
"Shut the fuck up Webb." Jess glared playfully at her brother's best friend. 

Sure her attitude was in top check, but the bitterness that icily surrounded it was present. Jessica tended to grow colder when her emotions were off balance and strewn around her mind like the results of a hurricane.

They were currently stopped somewhere in Southern Canada (most likely Ottawa from the outside view) and the venue was huge. So boys being boys and totally unoriginal, they just had to party. Of course though, Jessica was never a girl to turn down a party. 

Calm washed over Jessie as she felt the presence of what have come to be her best friends. It was only with them that she truely felt alive and that maybe she wasn't as bad of a person as she believed herself to be. She felt at peace and ease when surrounded by the members and crew of All Time Low.

"Jessie I'm so so so so so-" the blonde cut Zack off in a heartbeat 

"There is no reason sorry, I've been a snappy bitch lately." Jessica was blunt and her eyes rolled. 

Jessica jumped, feeling someone hug her from behind, "How many times do I have to tell you you're not a bitch?" 

That was when she didn't dare move. Instead her shoulders fell back and relaxed from their straight posture position and she physically felt her entire being relax. She didn't even have to turn around to know who it was. 

Over the last month or so Alex constantly told her she wasn't a bitch for being herself. Everyone had always told her that, but she never believed it until he said it. Even then though she constantly needed reminders, something so that she knows she's not completely gone. 

Yet even then sometimes she swear she saw black flash in her eyes, almost as if inside she was subdued in darkness. Standing there now though, Jessica was too caught up in the electricity running through her veins, almost as if it had replaced her blood. She was lit up like a lightbulb, and Alex? Alex too was wrapped up in the shocks and sparks running up his arm. Something he got just by hugging her and holding her close. 

Soon enough, everything was getting to Jessica. She felt as if the world was caving in. The loud music only made it worse to add to the pounding migraine at the back of her skull. She slipped away from Alex and was out the door, desperate to fill her lungs with the cold air surrounding the Ottawa valley. 

Back inside Alex felt the warmth and electricity leave him. He looked around, not spotting the familiar blonde braid anywhere. He panicked a bit, where the hell could she have gone? Just as he was looking around he caught sight of blonde hair whipping out the door. This time he wasn't going to be an idiot, he was going after her first chance. That's exactly what he did.

Jessica stood outside, leaning back against the brick wall of the building. Her head tilted back and came in to contact with the wall. Her breathing became heavy and she felt her body go numb. She really was going crazy, the careful stitching of her mind coming undone. 

She was cold, yet not because of the wind bitterly blowing through the city. She felt tears leak down her pale face, the shitty street lamp lighting reflecting off them. Suddenly she felt a presence, a source of warmth in the atmosphere. 

"I can't do this." Jessica's voice was shaking, her knees going weak. 

She slid herself down the wall, feeling the air shift as Alex sat beside her. 

"I can't do this. This. Everything. What am I supposed to do? I feel so guilty and I just can't do it." She was sobbing by now, collapsing her head in to her arms.

Alex was confused, but none the less he hugged her in to his side. 

"I'm just done. I just finally fell apart." she was laughing, though it was filled with venom and bitter feelings. 

Suddenly she looked up at the boy by her side.

"Why is it always you who follows me?" Jessica asked, unsure of what her answer would be, but her hopes were high.   
"Because being alone doesn't help anyone. Believe me, I thought the exact same thing. I had to learn the hard way." 

Jess giggled a bit. 

"Jess," he started, serious for a second, "What is it your guilty about?"   
"I feel like I can't even be close to anyone anymore, like he would hate me."   
"He wouldn't hate you, he loved you too much. Other people love you too Jess, he'd want you to love them just as much." 

The weight of the words hit them both like a ton of bricks, both on them leaning back against the wall. 

Jessica looked at Alex, a smirk gracing her face. 

"So, do you love me?" she asked, eyebrow raised. 

All colour drained from his face for a second before he smirked right back at her.

"If I didn't, I wouldn't do this." 

Before a word could come out of her mouth, lips were on her's. Right in that moment, the street lamp light was a little brighter and electricity ran through the atmosphere. The stitches were sewing back together and it was scene, act, and cut. Jessica's mind drew blank and she held no guilt, remorse, or sorrow. Right now the only thought she had was that she'd finally given in to Gaskarth.


	11. Chapter 10: I Want You To Mean It

Jessica's P.O.V.

 

Before I could even register what was happening, lips were pressed on mine and without thinking I kissed back. I knew damn well it was Alex and I didn't fucking care. I smiled a bit, my mind buzzing and every inch of my skin lit up. It felt like the world stopped spinning and hands froze on the clock. My eyes were closed and I was focused on the complete bliss I was in. Then I felt the guilt make its way back and I froze. Before anything could be said I snapped my eyes open and pulled away before running like my life depeneded on it. 

It wasn't long again until I felt another person near me. I was surprised this time. The kid was persistent. 

"I'm sorry. I just- I can't-" I couldn't seem to find the words to explain it. 

Some how I ended up in another hug. It was then I noticed I was crying again. Dammit I've had enough tears. I'm fucking pathetic. 

"I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." 

The guilt washed away for a moment. The fact that I was the one who was a sobbing mess and he was apologizing washed it away in a wave. I didn't even think before pushing my lips on to Alex's. This time nothing stopped me. I had finally set myself free. I pulled back, opening my eyes a bit. 

"You don't need to be sorry." I said, biting my lip. I finally let my eyelids drop for a minute, I was really fucking tired. I had been craving sleep lately. Just like that, sitting in the middle of a parking lot, I fell asleep.

 

Alex's P.O.V.

 

I was surpised when she kissed me, but I still felt the sparks. She leaned against my shoulder and I saw her start to fall asleep. Eventually I felt her go limp and I knew she was out for the night. It gave me time to think. Even if we were sitting out in the middle of a parking lot in February. 

Yes I'd kissed her. Yes, I felt like I loved her. Yet I wasn't going to ever force her in to something she didn't want. Damn, one look and this girl already had me whipped. I felt Jessica move a little bit, settling herself back down. She was long gone. 

Slowly I stood up, picking up Jessica and bringing her with me. I made my way towards her brother's bus (thanking god they left the door unlocked). I put her inside her bunk, laying her down on the bed (I'm assuming it was her bunk, it had a sign that read "DO NOT DISTURB OR ELSE love, Jessie Rae") I laughed for a second. THAT sounded like Jess. It was just another reason I loved her.


	12. Chapter 11: Your Everything Better Plan

Jessica's P.O.V.

 

"Come on Ash." I whined in to my phone speaker.  
"No Jess. When you get back you're going to see Dr. Warren." she was stern about this.  
"There's nothing wrong with me! If anything I'm getting better!" I was pissed now. Who the hell called her?  
"No Jess. You're going and that's final."  
"Whatever. Bye Ashlyn, see you back in Baltimore." 

I hung up angrily. What fuckin right does she have to send me back? I don't want to go back to that hell hole, even for an hour. I breathed, trying to calm down even just a little bit. She was just looking out for me. Her and Lacey were looking out for me. They always have. Not to forget about Melody either, she was always there too. I was still furious though and anger radiated off of me. 

Who called my house? Who talked to Ashlyn? Who the fuck made a big deal about me letting go? There were only two people in this world that would call my best friends. Yet one of them was more likely than the other.

"ZACK OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR." I was furiously banging on the bus door. Matt finally opened it and I stepped on the bus. Zack decided to be smart and hide, but he cannot run from me right now.  
"ZACK. GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. HERE. NOW!" Everyone was out here but Zack right now, I hated to make a scene, but this was not going lightly. Eventually Zack stepped in front and out of hiding.  
"You called her, didn't you?" he nodded  
"Why? You knew she would send me to that wretched fucking hospital. You knew what would have to happen. So why did you call her? I mean, I get it, you like her blah, blah, blah. Did you even stop and thing what would happen to me?" By the time I was done, my voice was barely a whisper and I was crying a bit.  
"Save it. Nothing is gonna magically make that appointment disappear." I stalked out the door, but before I left I stopped.  
"No one fucking follow me." I snapped. I was bitter and angry. Like I wanted anyone to see me like that. 

I sat down in the middle of the lot and just thought about everything. I didn't want to go see Dr. Warren. Why did everyone think something is wrong with me? I'm only doing what everyone said I should do and now I'm being sent back for more help. 

If you haven't guessed it by now, Dr. Warren was -is- my therapist. She's a nice lady, she really is. It was just her title that made me squirm. Being told I need help. The hospital too, that place gave me nightmares. It wasn't fair. I get that my friends are looking out for me, but why on earth did they have to send me back to that blessed doctor?

"I thought I said don't follow me." I snapped and I felt someone sit beside me.  
"I thought you of all people would know I don't listen." I laughed a little bit at that response. 

Without warning, Alex leaned over and hugged me. Like an actual hug. To be honest it's what I needed. People don't want to talk to me when I'm angry let alone touch me. Yet he he was breaking both of those rules. He pulled back and looked at me. For a second I was scared. I could pretty fucking terrifying when I wanted to be. I never was good with emotions. They tended to put me over the edge and made me a wreck. A reason I tended to be blunt was because being blunt took no emotion, no need to feel anything at all .

"Being told you need help is a nightmare. Sometimes you just need a hug." my expression softened a bit.  
"I did need that. Thanks."

Ater that we sat for what felt like hours and just talked. I told Alex all about the girls I shared a house with. How Zack had been crushing on Ash since she answered the door one day. It was funny actually. We didn't need to do anything else but sit there. We always had something to talk about. It was nice to have someone actually answer my sarcasm. He made everything better, but yet some how he pissed me off beyond explainable anger. Just because we were this close.... it didn't mean I wasn't going to play hard to get.


	13. Chapter 12: How We Operate

Alex's P.O.V.

 

I'll give credit when it's due. The girl knows how to play the game and play it well. Every step I took it's like she was 2 ahead of me. It was frustrating because she pissed me off just enough to make me want her more. That's usually my play. Smart, smart girl. Speaking of her, she was jumping around our bus. The fuck? I stood there watching, wondering why the hell she was here. Before I could say anything she beat me to it.

"Josh wouldn't let me put TSN on. World Juniors are playing."

I shrugged, whatever. Not like I was complaining she was hanging around. Every idea or plan I had got thrown out a window with her. Jessica never has and never will be a jealous person, there went that idea. It was likt the only thing that pissed her off was me, and even that a slim shot. Jess had these really fucking weird mood swings. So some days she was happy all the time, and some days she was pissed off, and some days she just wasn't here. I worried about her, a lot. I heard a crash and stood there laughing seeing as Rian fell out of his bunk. He glared at me, opening his mouth to yell when I shook my head.

"DON'T." I mouthed and that got a confused look.  
"Jessica and hockey." and he understood.

We'd all grown used to having to shut the fuck up when hockey was on, unless it was to talk about hockey. She really was Canadian, I'd give her that much. I decided to break the silence, this chance might be the only one I got for a while.

"Jess, who's playing?"  
"Canada and Slovakia."  
"Who's winning?"  
"Canada -WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. THAT WAS BLANTENTLY TRIPPING."

Jess looked like she was about to throw something. So I walked over and sat down, pulling her by her arm to sit down beside me. I knew what would get her to calm down a bit.

"Come on, calm down and explain this shit to me."

I watched her face light up she relaxed and let me pull her closer. She started trying to explain exactly what was happening and why shit was going on. By the end of the game she was sitting in my lap and not yelling at everything and everyone anymore. I've never seen her so calm watching a a game.... for any sport. To make her happier, Canada had won.

"We're going home tomorrow." Jessica sighed

Everyone knew she wasn't keen on going home right now. Who would be when you had to go back only to be pushed off to somewhere you didn't want to be?

"You know you're going to be okay, right? They're just worried about you."  
"I know but it's not fair. To think you're better only to be pushed back and told you're still wrong."

I kissed the top of her head. It wasn't fair to her, but she had to go. Jess has admitted more than once that she was just scared because if something really was wrong she'd have to live with that. It was a scary feeling, the thougt that something was really wrong. She had a couple days though, why not take her mind off of it? So we spent the day hanging out and seeing her smile has been the best thing all day.

 

Zack's P.O.V. (DUN DUN DUN SHAKING THINGS UP)

 

I watched Jessica throw popcorn at Alex across the bus. I laughed as it him across the head.

"KILL SHOT! I WIN!" Jess jumped around in a circle before collapsing and laughing.

I have to admit, as much as I loved how well she now got along with everyone else I had to be a bit jealous. It took a long time for her to be open with me, but some how Alex managed to dig deep in 3 months. 

Not to mention Jess was still a bit mad at me for calling Ash. You can't blame me for being worried. She went from being closed off to opening up in less than a week. Worry that was -again- mixed with jealousy. Why couldn't I have been the one to help her? We had been friends for years yet she never opened to me as much as she did for the others. Even when we hung out now she just never opened herself up all the way.

I shook my head, it wasn't that I wasn't her best friend. I guess it was just how comfotable she was. I was so lost in thought I hadn't noticed that Jessica had Alex pinned to the floor. That's what being the most atheletic person ever gave you. She was stronger than any of us. Even me. I decided to get her off of him because A. we need a lead singer and B. Matt would kill us if we were late. Knowing Jessica she'd just stand there and laugh.

"Come on guys. It's time for soundcheck."  
"I WANNA HELP." I smirked watching Jess race out the door.


	14. Chapter 13: He Was The Poet And She Was The Muse

Jessica's P.O.V.

 

Late at night, I sat on my brother's bus for the last time this tour. I played with my blonde curls, frowning at my fading dye. I suddenly had an idea. The show was going on and I don't know, I just didn't want to go tonight. I grabbed my backpack and dug through it until I found what was I looking for. My Manic Panic hair dye. I smirked to myself. This was what I needed.

 

Two hours later I was washing my hair out in the sink, happy with what I'd done. I had bleached out the fading dye and the entire bottom ends of my hair. I had gone a different road with this. I decided to use the black dye I still had left, as well as my brand new purple jar. I stepped back from the sink and wrapped a black towel around my hair. I walked around for a bit in my sweatpants and tank top, biding by the time. The show still wasn't done. That and they were partying afterwords so they won't be back for a while.

 

Eventually I just unravelled my hair and ran a brush through it before plugging in the blow dryer. By the time I was done, I flipped my hair back and brushed it in to its part perfectly. I smiled, it was perfect. Exactly how I'd pictured it. It started with the top of my head my natural blonde, fading in to bleach, which faded in to purple and eventually fading in to black ends. It was a majorly cool ombre effect going on. Something was still missing though, I just couldn't figure it out. I stil didn't feel like me. That's when I did something maybe a bit drastic, but it was so worth it. I pierced the cartilage of my left ear (seeing as my right cartilge was already done) and I put in and industrial bar.

 

I smiled at my reflection. I finally felt like myself. Not everyone was going to look at it that way though. I was okay with that.

 

Finally the guys got back and it was time to go. They were a bit shocked at first, but I mean who wouldn't be. I hugged them and said goodbye before grabbing my bag and making my way to the ATL bus. I walked in to silence. Go figure, they were all asleep. Sighing, I layed down on the couch, hair splayed out around me. I closed my eyes and eventually sleep overcame me.

 

I woke up to being jumped on. I jolted up, sitting straight and causing whoever it was to fall to the floor. One person anyway, I could tell there were two. Ignoring the one sitting on my legs, I looked to the floor. I wasn't happy at all, you can't just wake me up like that,

 

"What the fuck Barakat?!"  
"What did you do to your hair?" he asked, completely ignoring my question.  
"Why? Have a problem what I do with my own hair?" my eyebrow was raised and I was still pissed off.  
"No. Just, it looks good."

 

I smiled a little bit, a compliment without an arrogant pick-up line. That was a first.

 

"Thank you. Now let me sleep."

 

I threw myself back to lying down, but I couldn't get back to sleep. I groaned, realizing Alex was still sitting on tip of my legs.

 

"Can you get off me now or...?"  
"Nope." and I watched him speak, his mouth popping the "p".

 

I groaned and closed my eyes, it was too fucking early to deal with this now. Just as I was about to fall back asleep, I was interrupted yet again by someone laying beside me now. I didn't even have to open my eyes to know who it was. I just layed there, not caring because I wanted sleep. I didn't even jump at an arm encircling my waist. However just as I opened my mouth to ask him what the fuck he was doing, I got beat. He started talking first. Only he wasn't talking, he was singing instead. Singing a song I never though I would hear.

"Inquisitive and thoughtful,  
she was the challenge he'd been waiting for;  
a reminder that creativity runs deep like secrets.  
Dark eyed dreamers; they were a dangerous pair,  
Q next to U scribbled out on paper...  
They stop  
They go  
They're done.

Go back to the place we knew before  
retrace our steps to the basement door,  
I'll ask you if the rain still makes you smile,  
Like so much time that we spent in the fall  
it put color in our cheeks while the air turned cold,  
Preceding what became our bitter end.

Round in circles -- lets start over,  
Round in circles -- lets start over.

Unanswered questions would be the only thing to stop them now...  
He was the poet while she was the muse,  
but she had a pen that she knew how to use,  
with a touch of redemption, a hint of elation;  
a recipe for disaster.

Go back to the place we knew before  
retrace our steps to the basement door,  
I'll ask you if the rain still makes you smile,  
Like so much time that we spent in the fall  
it put color in our cheeks while the air turned cold,  
Preceding what became our bitter end.

Let this be a lesson to us all..."

I'm speaking for myself when I say I fell asleep with a smile on my face.


	15. Chapter 14: The Flavour Of Your Lips Is Enough

Jessica's P.O.V.

 

"Don't even try. You're not going to win!"  
"Please. YOU don't stand a chance."

I shoved Alex's shoulder, causing him to fall over and the controlled to fly out of his hands. Just as that happened, I won.

"Awh come on. You cheated."  
"It's called strategy." I said, rolling my eyes.

Looking at the clock, I realized we still have a really long drive ahead of us. Thank God we were going to stop though because I wasn't going to live if I stayed on this fucking bus the entire drive. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alex ready to jump on me. Just in time I moved and he fell to the floor and I had him pinned down.

"Did you not learn your lesson last time?"

I smirked, leaning down close to his face and my hair curtaining around us.

"Maybe I just like this position."

Catching me off guard, I was flipped over and Alex took off running to the back of the bus. Getting up off the floor I ran after him. I stopped in the bunk hallway, dammit he was gone. I was about to go back, forget about it. That was until I was grabbed and pulled in to a bunk.

"JESUS CHRIST."

Alex was of course, laughing at me.

"So you think this is funny?" I asked innocently.

He nodded a little bit. Okay, we'll see how funny this is in a second. I slid myself and moved so I was straddling his hips and I had his arms pinned down on his sides. I felt Alex's breathing hitch in his throat and he stopped laughing. Hook, line, and sinker. I leaned down closer to his face.

"Is this funny now Alex?"

He shook his head. My breath was heavy, hitting his skin. He wasn't breathing at all, or he was having trouble at least.

"That's what I thought."

Alex started squirming a bit underneath me, trying to move. However I was strong enough to keep him pinned. Here's the thing: I lead not follow. I was always the one in control. That's how it was going to stay. I could tell though Alex and I were exactly the same. We were both the dominant person.

I finally decided that tortuing the kid wouldn't get me far. Without warning I leaned down and closed the distance between the few remaining centimeters between us.

Alex stopped fighting me the minute our lips touched. I, however, kept my dominance and kept his hands pinned. His wrists were moving crazily under my fingers, someone wanted me to let go. I rolled my eyes in my mind, seeing as my eyes were closed. Slowly, I loosened my hold and eventually let go of his wrists. His hands immediately found my hips, pulling me in to him. I slowly pulled away and let my lips trail down his neck. He moaned as I kissed the base of his neck, inbetween his collarbone. I smirked a bit, licking over the small bite mark I made, making sure my tongue ring ran over it.

Pulling away Alex's lips found mine again and the same electricity that I always felt came buzzing in stronger. Slowly though, I was losing my dominance. That's not happening because that's not how we're playing this. I smirked in to the kiss when I felt something press against my thigh, seeing as I was still straddled over him. I pulled away, stretching up so my mouth was against his ear.

"Some one needs a cold shower."

I slipped away and out of the bunk giggling. Victory was mine.

"That is not funny."  
"Oh I disagree."  
"Nobody likes a tease."  
"You're right. No one likes a tease, they love them."

I walked away smirking and I managed to sit down on the couch before completely bursting out laughing. That'll teach him to laugh at me. Let's face it, I know how to play. Therefore, I ALWAYS win.


	16. Chapter 15: Our Song Has Not Been Sung

Jessica's P.O.V.

 

Late at night we were still driving down a long stretch of highway.I was bored and tired, yet I didn't find myself falling asleep. It was almost as if something was keeping me awake. I just had this nagging feeling that I shouldn't be anything but awake right now.

Sighing, I eventually found the energy to get up and walk around this god forsaken bus. Maybe it was just because I was used to not sleeping. Josh and I both had a history with insomnia. Seems everything came to us being the two youngest. It freaked everyone out most of the time.

I came down the hallway, and winced a little bit as I notice a light coming from under the door to the back lounge. Taking a moment to adjust my sight, I managed to make my way to the door, noticing it being slighty ajar. I slowly opened it and quietly stepped inside.

I smiled a bit at the sight infront of me. A small lamp was illuminating the room and there sat Alex, curled up with a notebook in his lap.

"Can't sleep either?" I asked

He jumped and turned around, but his expression changed when he saw me.

"Naw. Just trying to get some stuff done."

I nodded and by now I was standing behind Alex, trying to peer in to what he was writing. He moved his hand to close the book but I grabbed his wrist.

"Please?" I asked and he nodded, silently handing me his writing.

I let my eyes scan across the pages, the words that filled them were definitely songs. They were amazing. Sure most of them were half-done but I couldn't stop myself from knowing that they would be brilliant. I stopped on one that was actually finished. I let my eyes scan down the page and I smiled at what I was reading.

"Sing this for me? Please?"

I jumped over the back of the couch and sat beside Alex, handing him the book and curling up closer to him. His voice came out quiet (seeing as it was like 2 am), but it was strong. I smiled as I heard the lyrics put in to melody and I was right, it was amazing.

".... So long live us." he finished, and looked to me to say something.  
"That was- Alex that was amazing."

He smiled, but I could tell something was wrong.

"What? What's wrong? Alex all of those songs are amazing."  
"Yeah but it's like going back to our older stuff."  
"I see nothing wrong with that,"  
"Yeah well the label does."  
"You have to be kidding me." I said, rolling my eyes.  
"Nope."  
"Bullshit. Then stop trying to please the fucking label."

I got a blank stare in return. Almost as if what I was saying was complete mutiny. To him it probably was.

"I know you know you want people to hear these. The answer is simple. Stop trying to please everyone else and write and play what you want to hear. Obviously the songs you've written, they all mean something to you, you've flooded out your emotions with them. If they don't want to accept that this what you want to play than simply say goodbye and be on your way."

Alex stared at me for a moment before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me in closer than I already was. So now I was half-sitting in his lap.

"Why do you make everything easier?" he asked, his voice muffled a bit by my hair.  
"Because you over-think everything." I replied.

Slowly I reached for the book that Alex was still holding on to.

"Come on. I'll help you."  
"Don't you need sleep?"  
"Psh. Who needs sleep?"

We went on like that for the rest of the night, writing and talking and even managing to finish a song or two. Some where in between the caffeine and guitar chords, I fell in love all over again.

 

Third Person P.O.V.

 

The two sat there in the early morning, sunshine managing to find its way it. They didn't even care, they were too caught up in each other to pay attention to anything around them. This is probably the reason why they didn't even hear everybody else get up. Or how they didn't notice everyone behind them at the door, just watching.

Jessica shook her head, grabbing on to Alex's hand which held the pen moving across the page.

"No. Try putting this here."

She moved his hand with hers, guiding his writing. When she was done she gingerly let go of his wrist and watched him look over what she'd done. Obviously she had done something right because he looked up at smiled at her.

"Anyone ever tell you you're brilliant?" Alex asked, his british accent coming through a bit.  
"No. You'd be the first."  
"Well then. You. Are. Brilliant."

Jess shook her head, laughing a bit.

"And you are cheesy."  
"But you love it." Alex said in a sing-song voice.  
"Do I now? And by the way, don't think I don't see you guys creeping on us."

Everyone jumped in surprise and Jess only started laughing.

"This is sad. Alex, can't we get them girlfriends?"  
"Well Rian already has one, and believe me I've tried."

Jessica shook her head, thinking for a moment. At this point the guys were still standing there watching the two talk like they hadn't even been acknowledged. Well, except for Rian who was still on the phone with Cassadee.

"Well I've already been trying to get Zack to ask Ashlyn out for how long - I swear those two are like meant to be and - OH. MY. GOD. I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING."  
"And that would be...?"  
"Okay this is majorly fucking weird. My best friend is exactly like your best friend."  
"You don't mean -" Zack spoke up, but was cut off by Jess.  
"Yes. Oh my God Jack has to meet Lacey. They'd be a fucking match made in Candyland." Jess explained.  
"I HEARD CANDYLAND."

Before they knew it a head of brown and blonde hair was jumped in between Alex and Jessica.

Jessica had taken out her phone was was looking through pictures, eventually finding one of her and her 3 best friends. Pointing them all out to the two boys.

"That's Melody." She said, pointing to a girl with shoulder length brown hair.

One thing think that was noticed was that all the girls were shorter than Jessica.

"This was actually taken a few days after she got back from her honeymoon, hence why she has a massive tan in the middle of a Baltimore autumn. ANYWAY, that one's Ashlyn."

Jessica pointed to a girl with long dark hair and an eyebrow ring. They could understand why Zack liked her so much.

"She's quiet actually, but sweet. And finally, that is Lacey. Which, Jesus Christ I just realized this now they even look alike dear lord."

The final girl had Jessica's arm around her shoulders and her tongue was sticking out, like Jess. Her hair was a deep brown but faded in to bleached ends.

More or less to say Jack was excited to get back to Baltimore. Just as everyone finally left them alone, Alex turned back to Jess.

"You really are fucking brilliant."  
"Oh I know." She replied, and he pouted a little bit.  
"But that doesn't mean I don't like hearing it. Thank you." Jess said before leaning forward and kissing him.

They both smiled in to the kiss as Jessica's phone made a snap, capturing the picture she was taking. Moments like this had to be captured because let's face it, they were picture perfect.


	17. Chapter 16: Leaving You To Be Forever Seventeen

Alex's P.O.V.

  
I woke up (in the morning for once) to the sight of a curled up ball of plae skin and blonde and purple hair. I smiled, slowly pulling myself off the couch we had fallen asleep on. I made sure to close the door behind me, letting Jessica get some sleep.

I made my way to the front of the bus, being careful not to wake up everyone else up. Today was the day I decided to not play the jerk that woke us all up. Naw that job was reserved for Flyzik.

I honestly didn't think anyone was going to be up. I was proved wrong though when I heard footsteps come up behind me. I spun around, now leaning against the counter. To say I was surpirsed when I found Zack standing across from me might have been an uderstatement.

Before I could even say anything Zack started speaking.

"What's going on with you and Jessica?"

I almost started choking, that I wasn't expecting.

"Nothing. I have no idea what you're talking about." I couldn't help but notice my voice crack.  
"Bullshit."  
"Excuse me?"  
"I know you. You don't just share your lyrics with anyone. You're not just that close with anyone. So I'm going to as you again: what's going on with you and Jessica?"

I rolled my eyes at that, he had nothing. There was no concrete proof of anything other than we were close. No one had to know what we were because truth be told, I had no fucking idea either.

When Zack realized I had no intention if answering him, he flicked something around in his hand. It was a balck iPhone.... with a black studded case around it.... Jessica's phone. My eyes widened a bit, he actually went through her phone.

Eventually he stopped flickering on the screen, stopping and holding it up for me to see. It was the picture Jess had taken of us, sitting in the back lounge. The one of us kissing.

"That is not nothing."  
"She's going to be so pissed you went through her  _phone_."

Zack rolled his eyes at me.

"Why do you even care?" I asked  
"She's my best friend."  
"Really? Because you sure as hell don't act like it. Aren't best friends supposed to treat each other like family? You know, have trust? The fact that this is happening right now is  _proof_ that you don't trust Jess at all."  
"I trust her - "  
"No you don't. If you trusted her you would stay out of her business and not go through her phone. And if you actually did trust her, you wouldn't call her fucking doctor."

I didn't feel bad for snapping. We were at each other's throats when I heard a door creak open.

"Hello? Anyone up? Has anyone seen my - "

Jessica stopped at the sight of me and Zack. Her eyebrow raised and she eyed us.

"What's going on?" her voice was heavy with sleep. Her eyes weren't even completely open yet.  
"Nothing Jess. Go back to sleep." Zack looked at her like nothing was even happening.  
"Bullshit. But whatever. Look has anyone seen my phone? I need to call Lace."  
"Yeah." Zack tossed her her phone, "Found it on the counter."

In her sleepy state Jess had no idea that he was lying. Though the look of confusin that crossed her face told me she knew something was up.

"I could have sworn I left it on the couch..."

With that Jess walked off mumbling. I glared at Zack, did he really just lie to her?

"You just lied to her. Tell me now you trust her." I snapped.

Zack stalked away at that comment, and I knew I had won. For now. This wasn't over. The real question was: what the hell is up with Zack?

Shaking my head, I made my way back to Jess. I knew damn well she wasn't going back to sleep. She never does.

  
Jessica's P.O.V.

  
I just hung up the phone from talking to Lacey. God that girl made me feel better. Reasons why we've been best friends since I moved down to Maryland.

I felt something beside me and I looked over to see Alex beside me, looking at me expectantly. Automatically I glued myself to his side and cuddled in to him. That's when something weasled its way in to my head.

"Alex?"  
"Yes?"  
"What happens when we get back to Baltimore?" I asked  
"Well, I'm hoping that we will hang out and I will get to see you a lot more."  
"You're chessy."  
"But you love it."  
"Mmmmh I guess I do." I said smiling.

We must have sat there for what felt like forever. It was nice though, I felt like I never had to talk to enjoy time with Alex. I was never bored with just spending time together.

"I'm scared." I whispered out of nowhere, it just came out.  
"I know." Alex rubbed my arm.  
"What do you think, Peter Pan? Run away with me to Neverland?" I asked, giggling a bit.  
"I don't know Wendy. I think we might have to stay for a while."

We sat in silence for a while, not really bothered to do anything.

  
"Are our lives this sad?" I wondered.  
"I don't know, are they?"  
"Maybe." I answered  
"I have an idea."  
"And what might that be?" I asked.  
"When we get back home, will you, Jessica, go on a date with me?"

I was a little surprise, but nonetheless my answer rolled off my tongue.

"You know what? I would love to."

To be honest, I thought the kid would never ask. Suddenly I looked at the clock, realizing how long I've been up now.

"Shit! I need to go take my pills."

Without explanation I rushed to my bag, getting a glass of water and swallowing two of my hormone balancers. I turned around and as I was expecting, Alex was looking at me for an explanation.

"Please, please, please don't hate me." I begged.

I took a deep breath and confessed something few knew about me.

"When I was 17 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I take a hormone balancer to even out the levels but I'm still moody. It's the reason I'm so moody and blunt and bitchy. Then when Tristan died I was depressed and they told me it would be okay but it wasn't because anti-depressants spike levels and my balncers counteract it and I almost went in to cardiac arrest because my hormone levels were so off balance."

Before I could even know comprehend what was happening Alex had his arms wrapped around me in a hug. I didn't even realize I was crying until now.

"You're. Not. Bitchy." He said, kissing me between each word.  
"Why is it I only believe you when you say that?" I wondered out loud.  
"Maybe because I actually mean it."

Suddenly what I had been wondering all morning came back to me. The question I had.

"Alex, what happened this morning with Zack?"

He froze for a moment.

"You don't have to tell me - "  
"No. It's okay. Just stressful things going on. We're thinking about leaving the label."

I could tell that was only a fraction of the problem, the tone in his voice told there was something more. If Alex didn't want to tell me though I wouldn't force him.

"Really? I'm actually really proud of that." I confessed.  
"I thought you might be."

Suddenly things got serious.

"Jess?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I just - I know you're scared and you don't want to go alone.... How would you feel about me driving you to your doctor when we get back?"

Alex was looking away from me, almost as if he was scared I was going to like, hit him or something.

"I would love that, actually. I really would."

Leaning up, I kissed him. It was nothing but sweet and innocent. Pulling back I realized I had been given something that anyone hardly ever recieved. A second chance. A second chance at love.


	18. Chapter 17: The Best Of Me

Jessica's P.O.V.

  
I was unnerved getting in the car beside Alex. I had a right to be considering what just happened in my house.

*FLASHBACK*

_"LACEY!" I yelled, running through the door and tackling my best friend for the first time in ages.  
"JESS!!"_

_We sat there rolling around on the floor laughing for what felt like ages. That was until Lacey was picked up off the groud and off of me._

_"Calm down the Lessica would you?"_

_I stared at Ashlyn for a minute, hinting the almost bitter (?) look on her face._

_"What I can't hug my best friend?"  
"Best friends don't leave for months on end."_

_It got heated, like really heated. Not even 5 minutes later we were screaming at each other. What I still couldn't understand was why. Finally I asked._

_"What the hell crawled up your ass Ash?" I asked, bitter tone in my voice._  
"Maybe the fact that you leave for God knows how long and you come back unhinged!"  
"Unhinged? Oh dear lord NOT YOU TOO."  
"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?"  
"Maybe that you're happy for me? You're happy I'm finally breaking free of depression? Maybe that this is a good thing for me because I'm finally opening up to some one?"

_Ash just looked at me, surprised for a moment. She snapped out of it in time to storm out of the house we all shared. Melody lived with her husband, but Lacey, Ash, and I all lived together._

_Lacey looked at me, both of us confused out our minds. Lace moved across the room, ready to hug me, but I took off out the door. I couldn't stand being in there anymore._

*FLASHBACK OVER*

"Are you all right?"

A voice snapped me out of thought, my eyes averting off the road I was just watching out the window. I looked over to find Alex looking at me through the corner of his eye.

"Yeah. Just a bit off I guess."  
"And why might that be?"  
"I got in to a fight with Ashlyn."  
"The Ashlyn that Zack likes?"  
"That exact one."

Alex simply nodded and continued driving, not uttering another word. Eventually I couldn't take the silence. I turned on the radio, and to my surprise it began blasting Matchbox Twenty.

I started singing along, knowing the words in a heartbeat. I could see Alex smile. I looked at him confused for a minute.

"What?" I asked.  
"Nothing. You just have an amazing voice."

I giggled a little bit and continued humming along to the song. Not even laughter though could maske the discomfort I had at seeing the old hospital I once spent my days in.

Stepping out of the car, I took a shaky breath in and released it all the same. A hand went around my waist and I jumped just a bit. I relaxed as I realized it was just Alex. He started walking, guiding me to the front door of what was my worst nightmare.

We were sitting near the front desk when I heard a voice I hadn't heard in a long time.

"Jessica?"

I turned around and faced Dr. Warren. I tried to smile as she lead me up and away, but I couldn't do it. Not with leaving Alex behind me to wait.

I sat down in Dr. Warren's office, waiting for myself to blow.

"Jessica, look at me."

I looked up grimly at the woman before me.

"Jessica, there is nothing wrong."  
"Not you too - wait, what?"  
  
  
Dr. Warren chuckled, and smiled at me.

"The way I'm seeing this, look are you: you're so happy."  
"I am actually. Happier than I've been in a long time."  
"And the way I understand it, you've been opening up a bit?"  
"More than a bit. I feel free and yeah, opened up." I smiled, looking down a bit.  
"And this is why I'm changing your medication."

My head snapped up and I went wide-eyed.

"You don't mean - ?" I asked  
"Yes, I'm taking you off the anti-depressant and putting you back on your regualr balancer."

I couldn't really say anything. I just smiled, radiating happiness.

"Now, if I may ask, who was that boy who brought you here?"  
"His name is Alex." I mumbled, my cheeks burning red.  
"So that's Alex."

My head snapped up once again at that comment.

"I'm sorry?" I asked.  
"That is the Alex that your friend Zack called me about. When he and Ashlyn originally phoned me, he said something about an Alex."  
"And he said?" I asked skeptically.  
"That this kid was the reason you were - and I quote - 'going off the hinges'.

My eyes narrowed to slits, you have to be kidding me.

Finally I was gone, out the door of Dr. Warren's office with my perscription in my hand. I was smiling when I saw Alex, waiting for me exactly where I'd left him. His arm never left my waist as we walked out and as I told him everything. I finished just as we reached the car. Before we got in though, Alex stopped me and turned me to face him.

"So, about that date...."  
"Mmmmmh, what about it?" I asked.  
"I was thinking you could just come over and we could maybe watch a movie?"  
"You know what? I wouldn't love anything more."

It was true. I preferred the simpler things in life. Things like just spending time together, doing nothing special. However it seems like not even that can happen for Alex and I because as we pulled up to his driveway, another car was already there. One I recognized as it's permanent in my memory.

Zack's car.


	19. Chapter 18: I Think That I Should Go

Third Person P.O.V.

  
The expression on Jessica's face was void of any emotion whatsoever. Beside her Alex was mumbling ramblings of how Rian must have invited them over or something. All Jess actually managed to catch was that Rian was quite possibly a dead man.

Jessica walked in the house beside Alex, refusing to let him go. She did however when she set off an attack and her anger poured out of her, seeing as she had yet to get used to the new medication.

"YOU! YOU JUST HAVE TO GET IN TO MY BUSINESS DON'T YOU?!"

Jessica was furious beyond belief as she yelled at Zack in front of the rest of the band. She didn't let him get a word in edge wise as she started up again.

"YOU JUST HAVE TO GO AND COMPLAIN AND CALL ASHLYN AND DO WHATEVER AND YOU HAVE THE GODDAMN NERVE TO BLAME ALEX?! YOU CAN'T JUST STAY OUT OF MY PRIVATE BUSINESS?! YOU HAVE TO GO BEHIND MY BACK WITH MY FRIENDS AND LIE TO ME?!"

Jessica looked expectant, waiting for a reply.

"I never lied to you." was the only reply Zack gave.  
"OH REALLY? BECAUSE THAT'S NOT HOW I'M SEEING IT!"  
"IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER LIED TO ME!"  
"WHEN THE HELL HAVE I EVER BEEN ANYTHING BUT TRUTHFUL WITH YOU?!" Jess asked.  
"OH PLEASE. WE ALL KNOW YOU LIE ABOUT WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS YOU AND ALEX DO ALL DAY!"

Jessica looked for a minute, looking a bit dumbfounded at what had just been said.

"I have never lied about anything Alex and I do when we hang out."  
"Yeah right, you're not completely truthful either." Zack scoffed at her.  
"And what makes you think that?" Jess asked, she was dangerously calm.  
"Please. Keeping pictures on your phone isn't exactly secret - ."

Zack stopped mid-sentence and covered his mouth, realizing what he had just said. Jessica stopped and froze, realization clicking in.

"You went through my phone?" she asked quietly. Quiet was dangerous right now with her.

No one dare speak, Zack simply nodded in response to the question.

Jessica closed her eyes, not daring to open them and face what's happening. One thought was running through her mind: 'I have to get out of here.'

This was it. She was done. Jessica couldn't take it all anymore. The pressure. The guilt. The fact that she was hurting everyone around her. She just couldn't be here anymore.

"I-I-I- I'm leaving."

With that Jessica disappeared out the door and down the street, catching a bus to get home.

Meanwhile back at the house the 4 boys stood in the room shocked. It wasn't the fight that happened, it was what Jess had said. Normally she left with an "I'll see you later." something along those lines. Something that told she was coming back. This time though, she just said "I'm leaving.". There was no sign that she was coming back. That was the worst part.

Hours later they were all still sat in silence. They had nothing to say to each other. Nothing at all. A tugging feeling of depression hit in a wave over the boys. They all looked pretty beat up.

Alex though, Alex was the worst of everyone. His eyes were rimmed in red and he sat on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest, rocking back and forth. His face was tear-stained as was his shirt, but he could care less. Alex's hair -his oh-so-perfect hair that must be taken care of at all times- was a mess, strew all over from his hands running through it. That wasn't even the worst part. The worst had to be the fact that he was mumbling, just muttering under his breath. Alex looked just near insanity right now, that was the only way to describe it.

It didn't get much better as the time progressed. It only seemed to get worse. The absence of that blonde bubble of humor and beauty was taking its toll on everyone. Alex had taken to locking himself in his room. Judging by the guitar chords every now and then they knew he was writing.

Little did they know they weren't the only ones grieving.

At about noon the next day, there was a pounding at the door. Alex was still holed up in his room and no one felt like even moving. Jack however got up to answer the door, a childlike hope that maybe it was the purple-and-black haired girl that made his best friend so happy.

However much to his surprise he found a sobbing brunette on the porch. Jack smiled a bit though, seeing the girl he'd grown to be a bit obsessed with.

"Lacey, what are you doing here?" He questioned, pulling her in for a hug.  
"She- she- she.... Jessica's gone!"

With that a new wave of tears came over and Lacey broke down sobbing even more.

Just hearing the name Alex had rushed down the stairs, looking for anything to know about Jess. He was surprised to find Jack holding a tired-looking Lacey as she curled in to his side on the chair they were sitting on.

While Jack was more concerned with Lacey, Alex was more perceptive to the piece of paper clutched in her hand.

"Lacey, what are you holding?" Alex asked, slowly making his way over to them.

Without a word Lacey uncurled her hand from the paper, instead just holding on to Jack more. Suddenly all attention was on Alex as his eyes scanned across the page. His eyes grew darker with every word and he wanted to rip it up and pretend it had never been read. He knew he couldn't do that though, not to something Jessica had wanted him to hear. So instead, after grazing over the words a few times, Alex read the note out loud.

_"Dear Lacey,_

_I know you are going to make the boys read this, and that's ok. I'm writing this for all of you._

_As of right now, as you are reading this, I'm gone. I've packed all my bags._ _I realized that maybe I need to leave Baltimore for a little while._

_I can't take it anymore. The pressure of coming back to the home I once shared with a man I loved. I forgot what it was like to have that spirit present. The expectation for me to break down is everywhere I go. That doesn't mean I'm two steps back, no. It simply means I need to re-evaluate myself and how I want to handle this._

_Secondly I, Jessica Rae Ramsay, will not be responsible for All Time Low becoming another break-up band. I won't tear you apart, no you've come too far and worked too hard. You have saved so many lives and I want that to continue. I don't want to be responsible for ruining your high school dream._

_So because of this, I have decided to hop on the first plane back to Vancouver. I need to go back home. So right now, I am several thousand feet off the ground flying back to a rainy coastal city in Canada._

_Lacey: my best friend Lacey. Take care of Jack and the other boys, but more importantly take care of yourself._

_Zack: I know we didn't leave on the best of terms, but that doesn't mean a good 8 or so years is washed down the drain. You're still my best friend._

_Ashlyn: I know what you're going through, but you need to take a step back and look at another angle. Maybe me leaving can do that for you. You'll have a different view of the world._

_Finally, Alex: Where do I even start? You've done so much for me and I probably look like a coward running away from my fears. Whatever you might think about me right now or even in the future, please know that you give me something no one else does. Hope. A second chance. You have no idea how grateful I actually am to have met you. Even if you first stalked me in a Starbucks. Know this, Alex. As I'm sitting in that plane the only thought I have right now is how much I love you. I said it, I. Love. You. I'm not going to change my mind anytime soon, even if you do._

_With all my love,  
Jessie Rae"_

Lacey broke back down in another set of tears. However her face was contorted in anger.

"This is all Ash's fucking fault. If that bitch could just learn to control her hormones and keep her legs closed this wouldn't have happened."

All heads snapped towards Lacey as she covered her mouth with her hand. She was not supposed to say that.

"Zack did it."

All eyes now turned to Zack, eyebrows raised. He didn't say a word.

"Fine. You know what. I'll tell them." Lacey wasn't crying anymore, now she was serious.

"Jessica was gone you know, she'd left about a month earlier than she met you. She was visiting home for the holidays. All I remember is Ash coming home and for the next week or so puking her guts out. I had been talking to Jess all that time, she figured it out faster than I ever did. As of right now, Ashlyn is 4 months pregnant and before anyone asks, yes your dumb-ass bassist knocked her up."

Amongst all the screaming and confusion, Lacey was the only one to see Alex disappear. She followed him in to the empty hallway, knowing there was one thing left to do.

"She needs time, Alex." Lacey mumbled, "Imagine coming home with everyone expecting the worst of what they've seen. She just needs to go spend some time with Josh."

Alex looked at Lacey for a second, hadn't she just spent like 4 months with her brother. Lacey caught the question in his look and answered it.

"They're joined at the hip, those two. Since the day she was born they've been insperable like twins. Josh taught her to play the piano and the guitar. Hell they even got their tongues pierced together. Her brother is her best friend. She needs to go talk to him."

Alex simply nodded, but he couldn't help but wonder where Jessica was right now and if she was all right. He knew she was trying, she tried so hard to just make it all better faster. When in reality she needed to take a step back and figure out what to do.

Lacey smirked a bit, knowing what was going to happen. She knew her best friend better than anyone. Right now Jess was unsure of what was going through her head. She needed the reassurance, and that's why she left another piece of paper behind. One that Lacey knew only Alex would understand.

"Alex," Lacey began, "She left one more note. And I think you'll know what to do."

Lacey winked at him and stuck the neon green sticky note to his hand. Alex peeled the paper off and looked at the front of it. One simple sentence was written in the same hand as the letter.

_"Don't follow me.  
xoxo, Jessie"_

Alex laughed a little, remembering every time she'd told him that and he never listened. That's when it clicked in, he never listened. She didn't want him to listen, she wanted him to do the exact opposite. She wanted him to make up her mind. Jessica wanted him to come after her.

Not now though, he couldn't leave now. Alex had a plan.

He bolted for his notebook, looking over all the words he'd written in the past few days, and starting on another. At this point, Alex knew exactly what he had to do.


	20. Chapter 19: If It's Worth It

Jessica's P.O.V.

  
I felt bad, like extremely guilty. I couldn't help but smile though as I got off the plain to see one of my best friends in the world: my brother.

After explaining everything in the car, we finally reached the huge band house that all the boys lived in.

I was welcomed in to the house with a hug from everyone and eventually I turned around, expecting one more person to be there. That's when I heard the inevitable voice of the sister I wish was mine.

"MY BITCH."

I whirled around beaming.

"EXCUSE YOU? YOU'RE  _MY_  BITCH!"

We started laughing and Michelle jumped on top of me, tackling me in a hug. We eventually stood up laughing, getting the strangest looks from the everyone else.

This. This was home.

Home was the familiar smell of paint radiating through the house. Home was now, sitting in the kitchen with Michelle just talking. Home is Josh just wandering aimlessly around the house, annoying everyone.

I was just sitting there thinking when I was shaken back to reality by Michelle.

"So you just left?" she asked.  
"I couldn't stay. I was going to tear them apart. I wasn't gonna let them ruin themselves."  
"So you came  _here_  of all places?"  
"Why not come home? I'm hardly ever here."

I spent the rest of the day walking through the back roads of the Vancouver suburb I used to spend everyday in. That was until I heard a familiar voice call to me from the park.

"JESSICA?!"

I whirled around only to see Derek, the one boy in this world I could never seem to get away from. The boy who broke my heart before Tristant picked up the pieces. This kid was my first boyfriend.

I rolled my eyes at his voice.

"What the hell do you want Derek?"

He laughed at me a bit and I raised my eyebrow.

"Some one's hostile. Having a bad day?" He asked like he genuinely cared.  
"Nope. Just taking a walk, enjoying the a place I haven't seen for a while."  
"Back in town for a bit?"  
"Maybe. If you don't chase me off." I spat out.

I truely hated Derek Miller, I don't know how I was ever _attracted_  to him. He broke my heart, slept with the girl who I had thought to be my best friend. That was the day I learned trust no one. I clung to Josh, but by the time he graduated I had found some kind of friendship in Tristan.

"Look, I know you don't like me -."  
"No, you're wrong. I  _hate_  you. You're the reason I spent so much time insecure and untrusting. Shut the fuck up and leave me alone because I havn't wanted to see you let alone talk to you since the day I found you  _fucking_  Lisa Page."

I didn't wanna hear it, I turned around and walked straight back the way I had come. Along the way I picked up Starbucks, sipping it as I walked back to the house. I smiled a bit as I remembered the first day I saw Alex. I though he was some creepy kid. Granted he was staring at me in a coffee shop.

As I got home, I threw out my empty coffe cup. It was only now I realized how tired I was, and how there was a familiar wetness staining my cheeks.

I walked in to the guest room where I was staying and looked around. For reasons I don't even know my body took over and I punched the wall. The tears were still falling as I leaned against my forearm resting on the wall.

After standing there for heaven knows how long, I finally found the strength to drag myself to my bed. The last thought I had before falling asleep was:

"I hope to God I know what I'm doing."


	21. Chapter 20: Find The Words To Say

Jessica's P.O.V.

  
It had been a few weeks since I last saw Maryland. I missed it, but I was happy back home. My mind was clearer and more set than it had ever been.

I was lounging around the house in my black skinny jeans and a flannel shirt over my old black tank. Then out of no where Josh rushed in to the room and nearly knocks me over.

"What the hell?" I ask him  
"Oh, there you are."

Before I know it I'm being pulled out the door without so much as an explanation.

"Jeez Josh, at least let me tie my shoe." I whined.

My brother said nothing as he sped out of the driveway once he started the car.

I looked at him curiously.

"Wanna tell me where the hell we're going."  
"You'll see." was all he muttered.

Okay then.... My brother is weird but I mean this was unnatural. Maybe all the sleepless nights were getting to him. Oh God, is this what I'm gonna be like?

Never mind that. Shaking my head, I realized we were headed for downtown Vancouver.

What. The. Hell?

"Josh where are we going?" I whined.  
"Don't ask."  
"Josh, it's past 9. Everything is closed. I'm sure whatever it is it can wait until the morning."  
"No."

It was a bit of a long drive until Josh finally brought the car to a stop in front of the Starbucks located downtown. This one was huge, room with a stage and all like a coffee house should have.

"Really Josh?! You drag me for coffee?! Well tough luck it's closed."  
"Will you shut it and just get out of the car?"

My brother tugged on my wrist from the door, shoving me inside Starbucks before locking the door behind me and taking off.

It was completely dark inside, but you could see the faint glint of stage lights. I scrunched up my eyebrows, knowing that I looked confused. What the....?

Suddenly a single light came up, just barely lighting the platform that was the stage, the shadow of the instruments that had been left to be locked up.

I was blinded for a moment, covering my face with my hand.

A figure shadowed around the light. I had to blink a few times before my hand came to cover my mouth.

I was stuck in shock as I stood there in the center of the room. I didn't say a thing as he started playing his guitar.

_"I'm lost in empty pillow talk again_   
_I'm lost in empty pillow talk again_   
  
_This bed's an island made of feather down, and I'm stuck here alone_   
_With little else but memories of you, on memory foam_   
  
_Visions of a brighter love, I'd kill for one more day_   
_To pool my thoughts, and find the words to say_   
  
_If these sheets were the states, and you were miles away,_   
_I'd fold them end over end to bring you closer to me._   
_Because I don't sleep at all without you pressed up against me._   
_I settle for long distance calls, I'm lost in empty pillow talk again._   
  
_I'm lost in empty pillow talk again_   
  
_This room's become a mausoleum, filled with relics of regret_   
_Paying dues to every moment wasted, on words left unsaid_   
_Collisions of a finer love, I'd kill for one more way_   
_To tell you how you make me better every day_   
  
_If these sheets were the states, and you were miles away,_   
_I'd fold them end over end to bring you closer to me._   
_Because I don't sleep at all without you pressed up against me._   
_I settle for long distance calls, I'm lost in empty pillow talk again._   
  
_(Lost in empty pillow talk again)_   
_(Lost in empty pillow talk again)_   
  
_If these sheets were the states, and you were miles away,_   
_I'd fold them end over end to bring you closer to me._   
_Because I don't sleep at all without you pressed up against me._   
_I settle for long distance calls, I'm lost in empty pillow talk_   
  
_I settle for long distance calls, I'm lost in empty pillow talk again._   
_I'm lost in empty pillow talk again."_

As the song had gone on, the other 3 emerged from God knows where and I had tears spring up in my eyes.

I opened my mouth to speak, but the look that he gave me told me to stay put. So I did, waiting for whatever was next. To my surprise, another song I didn't recognize started up.

_"Mayday situation overload_   
_I'm restless, obsessed with your future_   
_And all my worries they don't bother you_   
_Collected, you render me useless_   
_But I carry on_   
  
_Right now, I think that you think that I'm_   
_Half drunk, searching for something of_   
_Substance, casually dropping a line, designed_   
_To keep you next to me_   
_I can't awkwardly craft in advance_   
_I know, that you wouldn't fall for that_   
_You say "Shut up and take my hand"_   
_And we carry on_   
  
_I don't wanna say goodnight_   
_The city comes alive, when we're together_   
_Why can't Thursday last forever_   
_I don't wanna say goodnight_   
_I've never been so sure_   
_Just do it for the memories_   
_Do it for Baltimore_   
_And do it for me_   
  
_Hot damn, look at me now_   
_I'm all, caught up riding the high of my_   
_Good luck, casually dropping a line, designed,_   
_To keep you next to me_   
_I bet you never thought you would fall again_   
_So much for keeping this, just friends_   
_Shut up and kiss me now_   
_And we carry on_   
  
_I don't wanna say goodnight_   
_The city comes alive, when we're together_   
_Why can't Thursday last forever_   
_I don't wanna say goodnight_   
_I've never been so sure_   
_Just do it for the memories_   
_Do it for Baltimore_   
_And do it for me_   
_(Do it for me)_   
  
_Mayday situation overload_   
_I'm restless, obsessed with your future_   
_And all my worries they don't bother you_   
_Collected, you render me useless_   
_But I carry on_   
  
_I don't wanna say goodnight_   
_The city comes alive, when we're together_   
_Why can't Thursday last forever_   
_I don't wanna say goodnight_   
_I've never been so sure_   
_Just do it for the memories_   
_Do it for Baltimore_   
_And do it for me._   
_do it for me "_

Needless to say I was speechless, standing there in the middle of an empty Starbucks. What was I supposed to say? Never in a thousand years could I have expected this to ever happen.

Without a sound Alex rushed up to me, wrapping me in a hug.

"I - I -. " I was stuttering.  
"Shhhh. Just listen to me."

I silenced myself and looked at him.

"You are insane. You jump on a plane with only a letter, like you are crazy. But you could never tear apart the band, you understand that? We've been best friends for years, we wouldn't let that happen. Your intentions were good, Jess, just not well thought out. You scared the shit out of me, do you even realize? But I guess maybe without you I wouldn't have had to come here and fight to get you home. Hell Jessica I wrote you two bloody songs. For the love of god do not scare me like that ever again. And please come home."

"And by the way," he added, "I love you too."

I was still speechless. I couldn't find the words to speak.

"How?" I asked Alex laughed a bit.  
"Lacey, Michelle." he said shrugging.  
"You flew across the continent." I whispered.  
"And I would fly even farther if it meant you came back to Baltimore."

I started laughing. Wiping away tears that had pooled on my cheeks.

"I guess we're equally insane eh?" I asked  
"Maybe." was the reply.

I smiled, wrapping my arms tighter around Alex and just hugging him. He rested his head on top of mine as my face buried in to his chest.

"I missed you." I mumbled, but it was muffled a bit.  
"I missed you too. Now let's go home Jessie."

Alex kissed the top of my head before pulling away. I noticed the other boys had disappeared and everything was as it once was.

Alex grabbed my hand, entwining our fingers and he pulled me out the back door, locking it behind us.

I left the house that night, packing up everything I had brought and jumping on another plane.

This was different though. This time I had Alex beside me. Our hands were entwined together tightly as I rested my head on his shoulder, drifting off to sleep as we made our way home.


	22. Chapter 21: The Value Of This Moment

**A/N: This IS going to be a bit short AND include a time skip. Just saying.**

  
*SKIP TO JUNE*

  
Jessica's P.O.V.

For anyone wondering, I  _did_  get my date with Alex. It was simple, we just watched movies all day and hung around.

That was me in a nutshell. I enjoyed the simple things in life. The simple things like Alex asking me to be his girlfriend as we were runnign around in the park.

Today however, was in no means simple. Today I had to say goodby to the best thing that has ever happened to me. Today the boys were leaving for Warped tour, and I was staying here.

Lacey and I were staying here, taking care of an 8-months-pregnant Ashlyn. We weren't about to leave her here. We were a family and that meant we stick together.

I sighed, refusing to cry as I stood there hugging Alex.

"This sucks."  
"I know it does." he muttered.  
"Just, call. Please? I don't care if it's once the whole tour I just need to know you're ok."  
"Promise."

With one last kiss Alex and Jack disappeared in their car, leaving Lacey and I standing on the front porch.

"What do you think Lace? Ice Cream and movies?"

With a nod and small smiles from the both of us we headed inside.

It's not that I didn't trust Alex, I did completely. I also wasn't one of those girls who freak out over  _everything_. I've been watching my brother go on tour for years, and I've watched the boys' girlfriends do this forever.

Alex was in a band, he was famous, he went on tour. I understood that amongst it all. I wasn't going to leave over something that happened on accident, as long as he always came back to me.

Lacey, however, wasn't used to it. She tended to be attached to people and over these past months she's been dependant on Jack. Anyone who says I didn't make a match in heaven like come on.

We spent the rest of the night curled up putting Netflix on random Disney movies. Even Ash joined us after a while.

Eventually we all fell asleep watching Finding Nemo.

Waking up was difficult considering we were all crammed on the couch but we made it work.

I grabbed my phone and noticed I had a text. Opening it up I smiled.

_"Good morning beautiful. We made it alive -Alex"_

I laughed a bit and typed a reply which set off an all day texting mass, seeing as it was only a rest day for set up.

We talked about the shows and their setlists and how they were recording while touring. Turns out they had left their label, and they were recording unsigned.

Turns out I had been right, The Reckless And The Brave was an amazing song no doubt. Everyone loved it and now they were working on the rest of the album.

Honestly I have never been happier in my life, especially since I was still helping Alex with writing.

This time it felt truely right to say I was in love with some one. I was in love with Alex, and I'll say it as many times as I can because it has never been more true.


	23. Chapter 22: I Don't Wanna Waste Another Minute

*SKIP TO END OF WARPED*

  
Third Person P.O.V.

  
Jessica yawned as she drove her car home on a late August night. It was nearly September and lately no one had been getting any sleep. Seeing as they had a baby boy named Christopher Merrick keeping them up all night.

Everything was till bright though. The Baltimore Warped show was only a few weeks ago, time with Alex still fresh on Jessica's mind.

Now she only had to wait what? An hour and he was home.

As Jess pulled up to her house, she froze a bit as the car stopped. Her house for the most part was dark, dim light illuminting from the inside.

She was scared, what if something had happened? Jessica was shaking as she tucked her purple and black hair behind her ear, walking up the door.

Pushing it open, relief almost set in as she walked inside.

The whole house was illuminated with candles. Jessica gasped, surprised and curious. That was until she noticed a pink sticky note taped to the wall beside her. She peeled it off and read it.

" _There's more, follow them."_

Not in the mood for games, Jessica grunted a bit, but then deicded to play along.

She found the next one and the next and continued, just collecting the little pink blank notes. They lead her all the way in to the kitchen, only for Jessica to gasp at the sight. Tears sprang to her eyes as she saw Alex standing there in the middle of the room.

"Hi." his whispered.

Jess dropped everything and just ran at him. By now she was full on crying. As much as she hated to admit it: Jessica really missed Alex.

"Hi." Jess muttered, but it was muffled by her head buried in his chest.

Alex moved, resting so Jess was sitting on the counter, her legs wrapped around his waist. She looked at him, still disbelieving.

"You did all this?" she asked.  
"Yes." was her only reply as Alex rested his forhead on hers.  
"I missed you."  
"You saw me two weeks ago." Alex pointed out.  
"Oh shut up and kiss me." Jess said, giggling.

Alex did just that and in that moment thw world stopped. Time froze and everything lit up, buzzing with the electricity Jess always felt when she was with Alex.

They spent the rest of the night cuddled up together in the dark. They had blown out all the candles, only catching light from outside.

"I still can't believe you died your hair pink." Jess mused, toying Alex's hair with her fingers.

He gave her a questioning look almost unreadable in the dark.

"But I like it." she concluded.  
"Good because I don't have time right now to change it."  
"You're just sarcastic today aren't you?" Jess laughed out.  
"I'm sarcastic all the time babe."

Jessica kissed him again, and Alex's arm tightened around her waist. Jessica shifted on the bed so she was above, stradling him. Her tongue ran over Alex's lip, pulling it out slightly with her teeth, causing him to moan.

Jess smirked and her hands moved to pin Alex's wrists beside him. He groaned as his hands were forced away from holding Jess and forced to the bed. Alex could never understand how he always let her take over so easy.

Jessica seperated their lips and hers made their way down Alex's neck, finding the spot between the base of his neck and collarbone.

Just like that they hardly got any sleep for the rest of the night.

  
Jessica's P.O.V.

  
I woke up tangled in Alex's arms, it was an beautiful feeling. I suddenly felt a kiss pressed to the back of my head..

"Good morning." I smiled  
"Morning" Alex mumbled back, still sleepy.  
"Some one's tired." I teased  
"Mmmm I blame you because you're fucking irresistable."

I laughed and sat up, throwing on sweatpants as I got out of bed.

I walked downstairs and in to the kitchen, deiciding to make breakfast.

Just as I got the bacon in the frying pan I felt arms around my waist and a kiss to the back of my neck.

"Alex. Don't." whined.  
"Why not?"  
"Because I don't want to be burned with bacon grease."

Sighing he rested his head on my shoulder, helping me make our food.

We spent the day just relaxing and enjoying each other's company. Alex told me stories about going on tour and the fans. He told me about all the songs he finished, about how they were starting to record more and more. I have never been happier, or prouder in my life.

To me Alex was everything. The reason I woke up in the morning, the reason I found myself happier and better than I've been in a long time. Even my mood swings were dying down to less severity.

I wouldn't have this any other way.


	24. Chapter 23: The Happiest I've Ever Been

*A YEAR LATER*

Jessica's P.O.V.

  
Over a year. That's how long Alex and I had been together. To be honest it's flown by so quickly, but I've loved every minute of it.

Don't Panic! had been a success, everyone loved it. I was happy for the guys.

Zack had been settling down with Ash, raising Chris. Jack had eventually made everything official with Lacey, though they'd been together all this time. Rian had proposed to and married Cassadee (a move we all saw coming). Me and Alex? We were just fine the way we were.

I smiled, walking in to the cafe the boys were playing at tonight. They were doing an intimate show here in Baltimore because they were in between tours.

For the most part, everything was fine. I just couldn't shake the feeling that something big was about to happen.

 

Third Person P.O.V.

  
Alex's palms were sweaty and he was more nervous than he'd ever been.

Suddenly though he was distracted when he heard a scream and the sound of footsteps running around.

The whole band looked up to see Jessica being chased around by Lacey while Cass and Ashlyn just stood there laughing.

Alex and Jack looked at each other, smirking, before running off after them.

Jessica was laughing as she was being chased by her best friend, when she felt fingers go through her belt loops and spin her around. She screaming a bit before she looked up to see her one and only boyfriend.

Jess glared at Alex as he laughed. She turned slightly and realized Jack had Lacey in the same situation. Jessica turned back to Alex and glared at him. He looked at her and gave her the puppy dog eyes.

"Come on Jessie don't be mad at me babe."  
"Aleeeeeex you scared me."  
"I'm sorry."

Jess giggled and pretended to think for a minute.

"Okay, I guess you're forgiven."

Jessica leaned up and gave him a quick kiss before retreating back to Cassadee and Ashlyn, Lacey following behind her.

~~~~~~~~~DURING THE SHOW~~~~~~~~~~~~

" _I don't wanna say goodnight._  
The city comes alive, when we're together.  
Why can't Thursday last forever?  
I don't wanna say goodnight.  
I've never been so sure.  
Just do it for the memories.  
Do it for Baltimore.  
Do it for me."

The boys finished For Baltimore, recieving cheers from the kids crammed inside the small space.

"So you guys may or may not know, all four of our lovely ladies are here tonight."

More cheers and clapping.

"Funnily enough. The song we just played is one of the few I wrote for my girlfriend. You guys can thank her too because she helped me write quite a few songs for Don't Panic. But being the sweetheart she is, she never takes credit for her brilliance."

Jessica was red, her head down blushing listening to Alex.

"Alex. dude, what are you on? Your girlfriend is the spawn of the devil."  
"Well then our girlfriends really must be related. And who turned your mic on Jack?"

When the laughter died down, movement was quick and soon Alex was on the stage with his acoustic guitar, alone.

"You guys mind if we slow things down a bit?" the cheers made it obvious they didn't care.  
"Good because you didn't have a choice anyway."

" _He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes_  
 _Started making his way past 2 in the morning_  
 _He hasn't been sober for days_  
  
 _Leaning now into the breeze_  
 _Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees_  
 _They had breakfast together_  
 _But two eggs don't last_  
 _Like the feeling of what he needs_  
  
 _Now this place seems familiar to him_  
 _She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin_  
 _She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs_  
 _Left him dying to get in_  
  
 _Forgive me, I'm trying to find_  
 _My calling, I'm calling at night_  
 _I don't mean to be a bother,_  
 _But have you seen this girl?_  
 _She's been running through my dreams_  
 _And it's driving me crazy, it seems_  
 _I'm going to ask her to marry me_  
  
 _Even though she doesn't believe in love,_  
 _He's determined to call her bluff_  
 _Who could deny these butterflies?_  
 _They're filling his gut_  
  
 _Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces_  
 _He pleads though he tries_  
 _But he's only denied_  
 _Now he's dying to get inside_  
  
 _Forgive me, I'm trying to find_  
 _My calling, I'm calling at night_  
 _I don't mean to be a bother,_  
 _But have you seen this girl?_  
 _She's been running through my dreams_  
 _And it's driving me crazy, it seems_  
 _I'm going to ask her to marry me_  
  
 _The neighbors said she moved away_  
 _Funny how it rained all day_  
 _I didn't think much of it then_  
 _But it's starting to all make sense_  
 _Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds_  
 _Are following me in my desperate endeavor_  
 _To find my whoever, wherever she may be"_

 

During the song, Zack had managed to worm himself around and find Jessica, hurling her over his shoulder and dragging her to the stage. He left her a mic and disappeared back to where the rest of the band was watching.

 

Jessica took a shaky breath, knowing it was coming. She had never really sang in front of so many people. However seeing Alex, sitting there waiting for her, gave her the surge of confidence she needed. She stepped on stage and began singing the words she knew so well.

  
_"I'm not coming back (forgive me)_   
_I've done something so terrible_   
_I'm terrified to speak (I'm not calling, I'm not calling)_   
_But you'd expect that from me_   
_I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt, now the rain is just (You're driving me crazy, I'm)_   
_Washing you out of my hair and out of my mind_   
_Keeping an eye on the world,_   
_From so many thousands of feet off the ground, I'm over you now_   
_I'm at home in the clouds, and towering over your head"_

_Well I guess I'll go home now..._   
_I guess I'll go home now..._   
_I guess I'll go home now..._   
_I guess I'll go home"_   


 

Alex stood, putting his guitar down and pulling Jessica in to his side.

 

"This right here, is the beautiful Jessica Ramsay. The girl I'm lucky enough to call mine."

 

Jessica's head snapped down, her hair covering her face. As much as she didn't like admitting it, she could be quite shy at moments.

 

However Alex still continued talking.

 

"This girl right here, has been with me for over a year now and I love her very, very much."

 

Suddenly the arm around Jessica slipped away and something entered the corner of her floor vision. Alex's palms began to heat up and his heart beat must have picked up to the speed of a race car. He was more nervous right now than he had been all day.

 

Slowly, he pulled the small silver ring from his pocket and laid it flat in the palm of his hand. It glinted against the stage light, the reflection off the diamond flickering.

 

"This is why I want to ask you something, Jess."

 

Jessica's head shot up, meeting the sight of Alex on one knee in front of her. Her hand flew to her mouth, tears begging to be released. The whole crowd had gone silent, not believing what they were witnessing.

 

"I'm gonna keep this short, because I know you love the simplicity of things. Jessica Rae Ramsay, will you marry me?"

 

Jessica had no idea what to say, or do. So she simply got down on her knees infront of Alex, so she was eye level with him. Her emotions were out of control, her meds no use to her right now.

 

"Yes." was all she whispered before leaning forward and crushing her lips to Alex's.

 

He kissed her back with as much love as he could find, all while slipping the ring around her finger and knowing it fit perfectly.

 

With that the show finished and everyone started to file out. So many kids left congratulations and best wishes and Jessica couldn't believe the kindness of these fans. She'd dealt with so many kids saying she wasn't good enough for Alex, and the few times she believed them he constantly proved her wrong.

 

Jessica went back to the house she now shared with Alex, happier than she'd ever been as she cuddled up to him on their bed.

 

"I'm so in love with you." Jessica whispered up to Alex through the dark.  
"And I'm always going to be in love with you." Alex replied.

 

Jessica fell asleep how she usually did now, with a smile on her face. This time, she was going to get married, and this time it might actually go right.

 

She still couldn't believe she had been blessed enough for a second chance at love.


	25. Epilogue

".....I won't say they lived happily ever after, because they're still taking it day by day."  
  
"MUMMY! You have to finish it right!"  
"But I did darling, it is a happy ending as long as they're still in love."  
"Are they mummy?"  
"Very much Lizzy."  
"But mummy what happened after they got married?"  
"Well they got married and had two beautiful children."  
"Really?"

Elizabeth looked up to her mother with hopeful eyes.

"Really. And they named them Elizabeth Marise and Thomas Joshua."  
"HEY! That's our names."

Lizzy jumped around excitedly, looking at her older brother beside her.

"Mummy why do they have our names?"  
"Because sweetie everything you just heard was the truth."

Jessica looked at her daughter, smiling and nearly in tears as her 4 year old realized what she just heard.

"You mean?"  
"Yes Lizzy. That is exactly how I met daddy."

Lizzy squealed in excitement, clapping her hands.

Alex and Jessica had been married for nearly 8 years now. Thomas was 6, Jessica had found out she was pregnant after two years of trying to have kids. Then again two years later came Elizabeth.

They had named Thomas after Alex's brother, his middle name coming from Jessica's brother.

As for their little girl, Jessica had always wanted to name her daughter Elizabeth and surprisingly Alex had picked a beautiful middle name like Marise.

Alex stood there, leaning against the door frame and watching the scene in his daughter's room: his wife sitting on a chair she's brought up. His little girl curled up on her bed listening intently. His son was sitting on the floor, looking up and watching his mother.

Jessica, even after so many years, was the most captivating thing Alex had ever seen. She truly amazed him. Especially after she'd made them a family. Had two wonderful children that they both adored.

Thomas Joshua Gaskarth and Elizabeth Marise Gaskarth. He loved his kids more than anything in the world and as far as Jessica's thoughts went, Alex was an amazing father.

"DADDY! IS IT TRUE? IS THAT HOW YOU MET MUMMY?!"

Alex was disrupted from his thoughts but his daughter, the little girl noticing him watching them.

Alex walked in to the room, stopping to lean against Jessica's chair.

"Yes Lizzy, that is indeed how I met mummy."  
"And you love mummy right?"  
"Of course I love mummy."

Jessica sat there, watching Lizzy giggle with Alex. She'll always be a daddy's girl. Alex always wanted a little girl.

Eventually the kids went to bed.

As Jessica closed the door to Tom's room, she saw Alex doing the same down the hall at Elizabeth's door. They smiled as they came together at the end of the hall, Alex wrapping his arm around her waist as they finally went inside their room.

"I still can't believe you told them that story." Alex mused, kissing the top of Jessica's head.  
"Hey she asked for a fairytale. I told her the most amazing love story I know."  
"And that happens to be ours?"  
"Yup." was Jess' answer, popping the "p".

Jessica curled in to Alex more and they laid back on their bed. Her hair was back to it's natural blonde, however she'd dyed black and blue specs through it.

"You know I really do believe it's a fairytale." she said.  
"And how is that?"  
"Well, I mean, I got a second chance you know. A restart."

Jessica sighed happily, just breathing in and out, listening to her husband's heartbeat as her lead lay on his chest.

Softly, she began singing a song she'd always loved.

" _I don't know why sometimes we seem so far apart_  
Sewn together with a broken heart  
I try to see you but it's getting dark  
  
Words keep flowing out I wonder what they mean  
You're like a little piece of kerosene  
But girl you've always been a friend to me  
  
And I've been too proud sometimes  
Chasing fault lines  
  
Oh no  
I'm gonna be there always  
After the pain has gone away  
The feelings are so strong  
This can be our song  
This can be our song  
  
Oh no  
I'll never make you cry again  
I'm gonna set things right again  
And I won't let 'em go wrong  
This can be our song  
This can be our song  
  
I don't know if someone else could handle me  
I don't know what I'm supposed to be  
You're the only one who really sees  
You get me  
  
I feel something growing deep inside of me  
What I say and what I mean  
Always seem to disagree  
So help me through this hard time  
Change these fault lines  
  
Oh no  
I'm gonna be there always  
After the pain has gone away  
The feelings are so strong  
This can be our song  
This can be our song  
  
Oh no  
I'll never make you cry again  
I'm gonna set things right again  
And I won't let 'em go wrong  
This can be our song  
This can be our song  
  
Oh-oh  
Oh-oh  
  
Oh no  
I'm gonna be there always  
After the pain has gone away  
The feelings are so strong  
This can be our song  
This can be our song  
  
Oh no  
I'll never make you cry again  
I'm gonna set things right again  
And I won't let 'em go wrong  
This can be our song  
This can be our song  
  
(oh oh)  
This can be our song  
This can be our song  
  
(oh oh)  
This can be our song  
This can be our song  
  
Oh no  
Oh no  
This can be our song  
This can be our song"

Without realizing it, Alex had joined in. Jessica smiled as she sang the last word.

"You know I really have always loved your voice, Jessie."  
"Mmmm but I'm gonna stick to the computer stuff. Singing is your job."  
"Yeah but I still love it when you sing. I hear you when you sing to the kids you know."  
"You do the same."  
"You know I realized something today." Alex changed the topic.  
"And what might that be?" Jessica asked.  
"The first time I saw you: coffee shop. The day I got you to come home: coffee shop. The night I asked you to marry me: coffee shop."  
"It's almost like you planned it."  
"I only wish I had."  
"You're a dork." Jessica said, leaning up and quickly kissing Alex.  
"Yes but I'm your dork and you're stuck with me forever."  
"I guess so, but can I tell you a secret?"

Alex raised an eyebrow at Jess, making her go on.

"I don't mind spending forever with you." she whispered.  
"Funny. I was thinking the same thing."

Alex leaned down and kissed Jessica with nothing but love.

They were still young an in love, but no one could stop them now.

Now they were too far gone. Caught up in the second chances, the fight for it all. They were perfectly imperfect.

If you ask them though, they wouldn't change a goddamn thing.


End file.
